Blog Post #10 A Return

Th. 11/14/2024

I rewatched this VaatiVidya video on the art of Bloodborne II. I’m going to start playing Bloodborne. I’ve wanted to play soulsborne games for years— I tried playing Elden Ring a bit, but didn’t get very far; I’ve owned Bloodborne for ages, but I’ve never booted it up. I know that soulslikes are challenging, and that I am not a very skilled gamer— but I am motivated to play the genre, especially Bloodborne. I think it will be a great inspiration for Pareidolia: Unbound, in addition to Crossed Stars (set in the same Ettingrad setting), and The Mongrel Sings (my current writing project).

Later.

I just spent about an hour troubleshooting placing my Google Doc of my final homebrew into an InDesign document— for Wanderer’s Guide to Dromknost, 2nd Edition. I have four new subclasses, bringing the number of subclasses for the twelve base, official classes up to an even 50! I lost the InDesign file for v.1 when I was upgrading my storage, so I have to reformat it all. I’m trying to work smart, not hard— so if I do proper research and planning, I should be able to format it way easier than last time. And if I do a small portion each day— like five subclasses a day— then it’ll take like two months, tops.

I added an additional foreword— the essay I wrote about realities for the Clark Dean’s Scholarship. I think it adds a nice philosophical nature to the start of the book.

Later.

I played Bloodborne for about half an hour. Minimal troubleshooting getting the PS4 set up. I like it so far! I mean, I knew I would. I’m still a bit concerned about the difficulty— as I am not a skilled gamer— but skill can be developed. And for this game, I am dedicated to learning from it.

Later.

I got hooked in reformatting my book. I set a time to stop working on it, but I had gotten into a groove with the repetitive motions— and I was concerned that if I stopped for the day, I’d forget the flow— and next thing I know, all of it— all over 300 pages of it— is done. Obviously I’m going to proofread the hell out of it.

For the personalized dedications to my players, I think I’m going to publish individual, unique author copies with typed notes in the front— and send those straight to them. I think it’ll be easier, and definitely faster.

Sa. 11/16/2024

I went to bed early last night, and got up at like 7:30am! I have to polish up the neck and head of my model for my Modeling class assignment, and I sat down and used some alphas to add pores— but I shortly realized that there were holes in the back of the model— including the back of the head. Dynameshing it was a mess; it just made a bunch of spiraling holes throughout the entire thing. I messaged Ezra about it. Waiting on a reply. I tried filling the holes in Blender— first by filling all of them, then just the one on the head (because that’s all I need for this assignment), and remeshing it, but when I re-imported the OBJ back into ZBrush, it just imported a fan of edges— that didn’t look anything like a head. I resigned myself to having to start over.

I spent a bit of time, taking the premade planar head, but I’m having technical difficulties. The planes are getting messed up. For some reason, the head is angled off-center, and I can’t fix it (even by just moving it, because it’s not perfect— and I need perfect for X mirroring). I got frustrated. And I’m going to let it lie for tonight. 

I also watched Pt. 2 of Season 2 of Arcane— twice. Isha is my favorite character. Also, the visual effects this season are a real step up— and they weren’t bad Season 1. The oily iridescence effect associated with the Arcane is really captivating. 

I have a couple of hours before my monthly online D&D game with my undergrad friends. I’m not sure what I’m going to do right now. I already finished eating for the day. 

Su. 11/17/2024 - M. 11/18/2024

I was having some emergent technical difficulties with my Alice model— which I had planned to use for my Organic Modeling self-portrait assignment. Frustrated and draining enthusiasm for that particular model— and excited about my character from my monthly online D&D game with my undergrad friends— I decided to start from scratch for the assignment. I spent 14 hours straight this night making it. I finished all of the sculpt, and even did hair cards— but in class today, I asked about how to UV the cards— of which I had 9,000.

Lucy Weirdbeard, the blind lookout.

T. 11/19/2024

I’m working on the Level Design assignment for my worldbuilding class. I have to define qualities of the enemies in this particular level— including “Attributes”. I’m not really sure what I want to have in terms of stats, so I did a quick YouTube search, and found this video:

Stat System Design - Creating Rpg Game

But I clicked off of it expeditiously. Setting a stat system is attested, and therefore non-innovative. I quickly found the first video for Miscast’s Arcane Ugly TTRPG devlog. (Ep. 1)

I remembered that Trent from Miscast threw away standard stats, in favor of a more complex inventory system— at least, that’s what Arcane Ugly was, ep. 1. A “class-less, level-less” system. I’m really interested in a complex trading/crafting system— in which the player of Pareidolia: Unbound acquires materials (folkparts and artefacts), and can either craft items from them, or trade them for products— maybe even trading your own products for other things? So having an inventory-based attribute system would make sense for this game. 

Essentially, you would have inventory slots— a slot for headwear, etc.— and you can equip up to that maximum— gaining the benefits of the gear equipped. I’m thinking about having a “tag” system, instead of quantitative buffs; each item would have at least one quality (in a multi-branched tier system), which would buff (or debuff) certain abilities of the player character.

Watching that Miscast video.

Ideas:

- A jousting minigame.

- There is no player character death in the game; there is a complex injury/dismemberment system.

—> I definitely want there to be a dismemberment mechanic for attacking enemies, but what if the eldritch power sustaining Alice (the MC) is such that he can continue despite grievous injuries? So, as long as he can move, he can continue. And certain injuries/amputations have tags, as well— and those will affect his performance and ability.

I’m inspired by TTRPGs. What if— in the UI— there are dice rolled— the amount depending on your active tags— to resist mal-effects? (Like dismemberment). So when a powerful attack hits you, in the bottom right corner of the screen, there’s a dice contest between you and the attacker. 

A bit later.

Here’s what I have for the worldbuilding Level Design assignment. It’s about the vertical slice for this project.

Level

What are the basics of your level? What is the player meant to do or see here? 

This level is physically the hovel of the witch Bena.

Main Objective

Defend the hovel against an onslaught of fairy tale creatures.

Sub Objectives

Practice the alla prima mechanic; rescue Rook the binder faerie from the oven.

Environment

The hovel is a three-story radially symmetric building, composed of rotting planks, rough stones, and sticks. It rests deep in the Wyrdwoods of the Epilogue. The Wyrdwoods have the canopy and understory of a rainforest, with the floor of a swamp.

Mechanics

What mechanics are utilized throughout this level? What can the player interact with? What will make them want to play this level again and again? 

The primary mechanic that is taught is the alla prima mechanic— using the MC’s flail to reconstruct the environment around him. Other key mechanics are attacking with said flail, switching combat stances (to one of four), dodging (not rolling, but sidestepping), and interacting with various objects.

The player will be able to open and close doors and windows, pour salt— both around entrances and on enemies— and, before the encounter commences, they will be able to explore the hovel, interacting with various objects strewn about.

The primary foci of the encounter are to 1) introduce the player to key mechanics, and 2) introduce them to the setting and the types of creatures that they will encounter as the game progresses. It’s not really supposed to be replayed— except when starting the game afresh.

Rewards

Defending the hovel and rescuing Rook the binder faerie will allow the player to be able to upgrade their stats (Rook helps with that); they will have gained XP from the encounter, as well as various folkparts with which they can upgrade their gear.

Punishment

If the player character is defeated in combat, they will have to start the level over again— from the point when the onslaught begins.

Items

1) Masinry the stone snake flail, 2) folkparts scavenged from defeated Folk, 3) Rook’s quill and ink (to be used in the stat upgrade process)

Secrets

Bena explains the sound of the baby crying as her nephew in the other room, but if the player moves through the hovel, the sound gets louder closer to the kitchen; Rook is being cooked in the oven. The witch is deceitful— acting kindly despite her harrowing appearance. It is a requisite part of the level to rescue Rook, but the attack begins right before the player has a chance to.

Puzzles

I don’t intend on there being any puzzles, currently.

Mechanics

See above.

People

Many characters and NPCs can appear in your levels. Who will your players interact with and in what ways? 

Attributes. I’m not planning on having stats. I’m inspired by Miscast’s early versions of Arcane Ugly (a TTRPG he made), with a “class-less, level-less” system. Instead of stats and levels, there will be a more comprehensive inventory system, with gear slots. You can equip up to your maximum for each gear area (head, etc.), and the gear has “tags”— qualitative attributes (instead of quantitative stats). 

   And NPCs will have tags, as well, which will, I think, create a more immersive experience than numerical values. Enemies will have a handful of tags— connected to scavengable folkparts following their demise— which will affect their abilities.

Tags. An example would be “Poison”. In this example, equipping an item with “poison” would inflict the “poisoned” debuff on the victim (the person being attacked, etc.). If that victim has an item with the “Stout” tag, they would ignore the “Poison” tag.

Enemies. There will be at least 20 distinct enemies— and some with multiples. They are split into the following categories. 

NPCs

Art

Every level should have a distinct identity. How will you use different art elements to create this level’s identity? 

Mood

Whimsical, grimy, fantastical

Lighting

Golden hour

Color Palette

Warm/earth tones (interior); secondary (green, purple, orange) (Wyrdwoods)

Objects/Clutter

Inside the hovel are countless journals, books, trinkets, and other paraphernalia that a witch would acquire— all in states of disrepair and disorganization (due to her blindness).

Aesthetic

Oil painting

Ambiance

Pre-encounter (cozy); encounter (frenetic)

Story 

As this is a narrative design course, narratively, how does your level fit into the overall story? And how will you tell a story throughout the level? 

Bena the witch kidnapped Rook the binder faerie from the Court of Whim (her former court, before being exiled). This level introduces the player to the setting as a fantastical land filled with myriad whimsical creatures, and introduces them to the socio-political structure. 

Where does it fit in the story? 

Near the beginning

Plot elements

- Exposition: Bena invites Alice into her home, and explains, cryptically, the general situation of the Epilogue setting.

- Rising action: Alice nears the oven and discerns that the baby is inside; the assault starts.

- Climax: Nøkken tears the roof off and eats Bena.

- Falling action: The Folk pause the assault to investigate Alice.

- Resolution: Alice opens the iron oven for them, and retrieves Rook.

Explicit storytelling elements

Dialogue; inspecting various books in the hovel.

Implicit storytelling elements

The objects in the hovel betray a sinister nature to the witch.

Emergent storytelling elements

I’m honestly still a bit confused by this concept— but this level is pretty linear, so I think there wouldn’t be much emergent storytelling elements. 

Map

Create a simple map of your level. Include important elements like landmarks, NPCs, and interactable elements. 

Very basic. This assignment was significantly more complex than I had become accustomed to expecting from this class, and by this point, I was getting a bit worn out.

Flow Chart

Every level has a designed pathway the player is meant to play through. What might this path look like in your level? 

Pretty linear, but it is just a vertical slice.

I researched stat systems a bit more— in particular this video. 

What Makes A Good Stat System? - Sol Devlog

I still think that a “tag” system would be more interesting for Pareidolia, but it seems imperative to know how to make an alternative to the stat system with it; understand, then change. 

I didn’t use it for my Clark application, but for my other grad school applications, I included the rules for an original Trading Card TTRPG— I think I called it On Fickle’s Whim? It had issues. It was really cool, to be fair— with over 60 cards tied to abilities and spells, and it even had a set of rules for PVP tournament play— where you could gamble your cards, with the winner taking them. But it had too many rules. No gamemaster could be expected to know all of the rules necessary to build a good campaign.

I was inspired by my favorite book, Epic by Conor Kostick. In that book, there’s an MMO that the colony of New Earth uses for entertainment, but primarily as a conflict resolution system. They’re extreme pacifists, having left Earth due to war. The game, Epic, is the economic system and the legal system. In that game, there are “hundreds” of character classes, all with a unique set of abilities. Epic works where On Fickle’s Whim doesn’t; it’s a video game. There is no gamemaster; there is only a computer presenting those hundreds of options— fully familiar with them, and, thus, able to adjudicate them. 

I think Pareidolia: Unbound could be my answer to On Fickle’s Whim. Maybe not as complex as hundreds of classes— but complex enough with its tag system. And, since its a video game, I can present all of those tags tied to a myriad of items— and it’ll just improve the game. 

—

There are two upcoming games that I’ve been watching demo content from recently: Soulframe and Crimson Desert. They both seem very much like my kind of game: 3rd person single player action games. Crimson Desert is releasing quarter two 2025; Soulframe is apparently releasing 2025, as well. 

—

Later.

I want to have dismemberment in Pareidolia: Unbound. Lots of it. Dismembering non-Formidables (so every enemy except bosses; bosses require alla prima), but also dismembering the player character. Blood magic is huge in this game. I had an idea a while back of having a ranged attack where you launch your literal knucklebones at enemies— destroying the left hand and forearm of the character. It has a recharge time— how long it takes to regenerate the limb. 

But now I’m also thinking about having the player character not have hit points, but instead attacks on him have a chance of dismembering him, too. Fleeting Injuries can regenerate in a short period of time— within that combat encounter (special items can reduce the regen time)— and grievous injuries last until you rest at a save point. 

So, the player character will stay alive even with mass dismemberment— they’ll just be limited in their abilities and movement. 

I watched this video on dismemberment in UE5. I definitely need to learn blueprints, because I did not understand any of what was shown. 

I also saw that there’s a plugin call “EnGore” that automates dismemberment with any skeletal mesh— even with optional blood splatters. 

Here’s the setup video for EnGore.

—

I got distracted on YouTube and came across this video about “moldy” worldbuilding— worlds eating themselves— typically after an apocalypse, but not necessarily. How could I make Epilogue a moldy setting? It is, quite literally, what came after a great tragedy.

W. 11/20/2024

Griff informed me that EnGore must be bought. I just looked it up. It’s $95. That’s honestly not much for a procedural addon of that quality, but I don’t currently have an income. Dismemberment shall have to wait. Which is fine. 

I reached out to some people at Clark, and got referred along a chain of people directing me to more appropriate individuals— about grants. I really want to get a grant to work on Pareidolia: Unbound over the summer here in town. (I don’t really want to go back to California.) I was referred to Pivot-RP, an institutional funding website designed to help academics further their research. I set up my account, but I still need to fill out my profile. 

To secure a grant, I assume that I should have a clear set of project goals and foci. Here’s a few ideas:

1. Alla prima. Obviously. This is the core mechanic unique to the project. Reshaping the environment around you, smearing two-dimensional paint to create a new three-dimensional environment. I have a basic idea of how I’m going to go about this. I’m going to follow and deconstruct the Viewfinder in UE5 tutorial; I’m going to have a basic attack animation, with a refraction weapon trail; I’m going to make the refraction trail the “photo” for the procedural environment generation. I think it’d be easier to do what I initially started— toggle into 1st person perspective when using alla prima, but I think that would be really jarring, in terms of gameplay. I also want to do what God of War (2018) did, with one seamless shot— so toggling between perspectives would directly oppose that. 

2. Inventory and Crafting. I’m listing these together because they’re connected, and because the inventory system won’t take much work. As of now, Pareidolia will be level-less and class-less— with abilities tied to gear equipped. For the inventory system, I want it to be a two-dimensional UI where the shapes and sizes of the items must be configured (Tetris-style)— the only limit to your inventory is how much you can pack onto your person. Griff had a cool idea of the MC’s backpack literally swelling as more is packed into it. But not everything will be in the backpack. Oh! Wait! There could be a grid for the backpack— where items must be configured geometrically— and then a standard paper doll of the character, where gear can be placed on certain body parts. Those two systems would show up side-by-side whenever you access the inventory. 

In terms of crafting, I want to implement a scavenging-and-crafting system. Whenever you slay an enemy, you can loot their body, and if they are Folk, scavenge folkparts. I’ve talked about those before. Ex. The middle finger of Baba Jaga, etc. Depending on the tags that that creature had in life, the folkparts can be combined with other items to impose that tag onto the resulting creation. You can also scavenge materials just from the environment, with similar effects. The tags of items equipped on your paper doll affect either your abilities, or the effects of the bound item. An easy example for the latter is imposing the Poison tag onto your crucifix, the stone snake whip. Attacks with that weapon will poison the struck target (not sure what that will effectively do yet), and, if you activate alla prima with it, it changes the refraction trail. 

So I need to have a system based on the tags, and a generative system where items can be combined to create visually unique new products— with those tags.

3. Dismemberment. If I get a grant, purchasing EnGore will be one of the first steps in this process. With that addon, you can swap in different gore effects, so I’m thinking of changing the blood to ink. That will take some research. I also want to modify it to have smaller parts of the body able to be dismembered. This is for enemies, but also for the player character. Fleeting Injuries and Grievous Injuries. The former will regenerate during the active combat; the latter will regenerate after the next rest (at a save point, similar to the iconic bonfire). There are no hit points; there is just a constant reduction of ability and movement; you can keep fighting as long as you physically have the limbs to do so. Is this balanced? I don’t know. But it’s interesting! And new!

—

I’m taking a quick Inspiration BreakTM. Rewatching an Arcane Ugly devlog. This one. I just clicked on it from the playlist, and it’s perfect for the ideas that I’m throwing around. Wands in Arcane Ugly have qualitative modifiers, like “fiery” or “combustive” or “grotesque”. When you cast a spell with a wand, the modifier affects that casting of the spell. So Ronin Firefist’s Little Book of Big Summons’ frog conjuration spell of d100 ft. size— with the “combustive” modifier on the wand used— would create an explosive frog. Sound familiar?

Yeah, Arcane Ugly is a big inspiration for the tag system that I’m developing for Pareidolia.

The same episode talks about magical tattoos. Which is also interesting in how I thoughtlessly picked which video to watch— because I had this idea early on that your character progresses through Rook the Binder Faerie doing tattoos on the player character during rests, detailing in words and images the events since the last tattoo session. That was when I was still planning on having an XP/level system. I still want those cinematics of Rook tattooing Alice— probably with the camera panning away from the tattoo until it’s done. What effect would those tattoos have? Not sure yet. Maybe an alternative set of tags could be baked into the biology of the player character himself? That’s actually a dope idea. Maybe that’s how the player gains magic? I’ve always thought of this game as the Bloodbound class (a homebrew class that I made for D&D 5e— it has 20 subclasses!) as a game; the bloodbound binds magick to their biology. I hadn’t planned on the MC actually having magic spells; I just planned on him having the knucklebones ranged attack and the regeneration— but spells could be really cool! This is turning into a much bigger project— which I love.

Blog Post #9 Adventure Awaits

F. 11/8/2024

I started modeling the gothic carvings in Alice’s stone upper arm. I do not enjoy modeling, but for this, at least, it’s easier than sculpting. Here’s what I have so far.

It’s the night between Thursday and Friday— on the Friday side of midnight.

Later.

I watched this tutorial on creating stylized hair in Blender. It seems pretty simple— or, at least, much simpler than realistic hair. 

I’m watching this tutorial on making any type of stylized hair. One question that I’ve had for a while about Blender in general was the hotkey for Mirroring. It’s Cntrl + M.

Shift + T to twist. Alt + S to scale.

Later.

 I modeled the Boolean cutout for the faces of the upper arm, but for some reason when I activate the Boolean modifier, it’s doing this (below), instead of cutting the shape out.

Later.

I thought that maybe I misremembered how to Boolean, so I refreshed my memory with this tutorial. However, whenever I try to switch the operand from object to collection, Blender freezes, and then subsequently crashes.

Also this morning I tried getting back into Hyper Light Drifter (2016), but my saved game is a decent portion in, and the enemies are therefore more challenging— I’ve forgotten the gameplay strategies/skills. I think I’m going to start a new game— just start from fresh. I wanted to play it again because I’m inspired by the art style of the characters. For Crossed Stars, when Aster (the captain) is outside of the ship, I don’t want the characters to look chibi— like standard RPG Maker— or taller— like Stardew Valley— so I think I’m going to design custom sprites with a similar art direction as Hyper Light Drifter.

Blender is still frozen.

found the Bool Tool addon alternative to the Boolean modifier. Something is horrendously wrong; it’s only cutting out part of the influencer— and part of it is actually adding to the base mesh.

Sa. 11/9/2024

I reworked Rachel for our presentation at the expo tomorrow (today?).

I based my edits on Ezra’s input. Now I need to finish up our expo slideshow.

Later.

The expo was great! Could’ve used more vegan food options (I got pretty hungry), but still, great!

There was one booth for Indiepocalypse, a video game curation business. Andrew at the booth had these little cassette tape cases with artwork and everything— containing USB drives with, on average, ten games each on them! It was a dope idea. 

Later.

I watched Arcane (S.2, Pt. 1). I’m not sure what the difference was, but it didn’t carry as much of a punch as when I first watched season 1. 

Su. 11/10/2024

I worked on the stylized hair option for both my Organic Modeling class and my Seminar MC, Alice. I worked about 4 hours (1am-5am)— and boy! Even stylized hair takes a long time. It’s cool, though— now whenever I go to get a haircut, I can model what I want the result to look like. 

I’m basing the hairstyle on Damiano David’s, circa Loneliest. I’m following this tutorial.

I’m going to bring my laptop to class today, to work on this further when we have time to work on this assignment.

M. 11/11/2024

In class, Ezra took a look at the hair work (shown above), and informed me that it would be completely useless for game design. The polygons are so dense. So, he walked me through using hair cards.

It is taking multiple tries to get them set up correctly. First, I didn’t copy the Bezier curves with the cards. Then, the curves we unaligned with the cards. Now, I need to make smaller curves to fit the shorter hair textures (on the right).

T. 11/12/2024 - W. 11/13/2024

Let’s see. I reworked the Algonale/Alice model, I sculpted the crucifix arm— including gothic-inspired designs and International Phonetic Alphabet symbols— I sculpted the clothes, and I painted it all in ZBrush.

I presented my progress (and hair prep) in Seminar. I’m going to have to re-texture in Substance Painter, obviously, but I wanted something showy to present. The half-cape is dope. The giant gingko leaf pauldrons are whimsical. The hand-carved crucifix designs are eldritch. I’m going to put embroidered designs on the vest, lace the two halves together in Blender, and create the shoelaces, in Blender, as well. The yellow piping will be more golden-threaded and brocaded.

For the hair, I’m going for a medium length on the sides and back, with braids going from the temples back to the back of the head, and choppy, uneven bangs like Powder from Arcane Season 1. Oh! And he’ll have the tattoos on the back of his neck. 

Alice is going to be the Epilogue-reincarnated form of Algonale, from The Mongrel Sings, my writing project. He is inspired by the question: What would Margane from Tabletop Champions be like as a child? And what went wrong? Now I know where to take this character.
Later.

I got some answers to my questions in the presentation today. For close-to-scalp braids, I can use hair cards. For floppy braids, I can either model and bake, or use the Braidify addon in Blender. I’ll try both. 

I will also implement roughness variation to create more satisfying visuals.

Blog Post #8 Argh I Almost Forgot

W. 10/30/2024

I didn’t sleep last night. I stayed up until like 2:30am working on the Studio and Seminar projects, and at that point, it seemed likely that I would sleep through an alarm. So I stayed up. 

I had roughly 20 hours of work done in the past week to show for this Milestone (4), so I felt pretty confident during my presentation. I also had specific questions at the end— mostly about modeling— and I got some good feedback. 

For Studio, I had forgotten to include the time spent on each task, but I managed to verbalize it. I’ll remember for next time. Adam and Dia critiqued my Rachel model. Key takeaway: work with specific references for each part.

I finished my overdue Totem Pole assignment tonight. I managed to UV it, bake it, and texture it in one sitting. That was pretty magical.

If I can submit my insect assignment by Monday, I’ll be caught up in all of my courses. Seems reasonable.

I played Final Fantasy XVI for about an hour and a half today. It is masterful. I’m playing on easy mode (so special attacks are pretty much keybound to the standard attack button), but it doesn’t feel droll. It’s cinematic, and I feel like I’m growing. Additionally, when I close my eyes, I can see Clive’s acrobatics behind my eyelids. It’s wonderful to know that I, until recently, could do that kind of gymnastics. 

(Also, “Keybound”? A musical bloodbound? I’m making an updated Wanderer’s Guide to Dromknost, so I have the liberty to add stuff.)

Th. 10/31/2024

It’s Halloween. I’m not really doing anything for it.

I slept late. I don’t feel bad about it. I needed the rest.

I’ve been thinking. Planning isn’t going to help my oversleeping. I can’t think my way out of it— but, ironically, I’ve been thinking— and if I can identify what core needs my oversleeping is satisfying, I can replace the behavior with something more productive.

I played FFXVI another hour and a half today. I played it earlier (I just ended at 6:15pm), so that my roommate isn’t kept up by the sound of my button-mashing. It really is a spectacle. Spoiler: it was apparent that Clive was the Ifrit Eikon from the beginning, but it was an example of narrative irony, because Clive didn’t know that. Now he does. There was some really good voice acting this session. “I won’t let you... stand in my way!” This line was delivered pretty slowly, but it was filled with passion, and the resonance in the voice actor’s voice was evocative.

In this game, the Eikons are modeled after real-world legendary mythological creatures. It’s kinda sabotaging every other game dev by doing this; now, if we were to name any of our characters after one of those creatures— or even, any other mythological legendary creature— it would just appear that we were copying FFXVI.

F. 11/1/2024

It is 4:09 am, and I’ve been working on the Insect modeling assignment since 6pm last night. So, 10 hours? Wild. Here’s what I have.

I started on it yesterday at 6pm. I’ve been working nonstop. The only reason I’m taking a break is because Blender won’t let me zoom in to the seams for UVing it. It started by letting me mark seams easily, but for some reason, the viewport just won’t let me zoom in past a certain point. It works in Layout mode, but I need to be in UV Editing mode to, you know, edit UVs. 

Sa. 11/2/2024

I figured out the issue with the zooming. And I did the UV, the baking, and the texturing. It started out just as a creepy spider, but it turned into the Nameless, the big bad from my favorite completed D&D campaign that I ran, years ago. For the texturing, I experimented with gouache and metallics, layering low-opacity strokes in different colors over a dark base. I had some trouble getting the angles of the renders right, so I sent the below image to Ezra for review, before submitting it.

Oh yeah, and it 1:24 am. 

I went to sleep at like 6am yesterday, woke up just before 2pm, and I’m going to do the same tonight. I didn’t oversleep yesterday— like 8 hours— but I oversleep if I go to bed early— so, as I told my mum, I might as well play with the current rules instead of hoping they’ll change.

It’s supposed to look like an oil slick on wet asphalt. The left-most image is the POV of the Player Characters standing below it, atop the library of Elderville.

I dragged all of my tech stuff out into the hallway— so I can work late without disturbing my roommate. 

Later.

I started watching Hazel Brown’s Realtime Hair Tutorial series, but I halted my progress after realizing that I don’t even know how to navigate in Maya. So, I watched about half of this tutorial— claiming that I could learn Maya in twenty minutes. I got the gist. 

I also drafted a new Druid subclass during a break. It’s called the “Circle of the Eternal Green”— it’s about becoming a warden of nature powerful enough to preserve it. It might just be my exhausted state— I’ll get into that next— but the concept doesn’t feel very clear.

My exhausted state. I’m concerned that staying up until the morning might be a bad idea today. My mind doesn’t feel sharp, and I’m trying to learn complicated new skills. I also am going to have a call with my aunt around 2pm (it’s her birthday)— but 2pm is when I woke up yesterday. Will I be able to get up early enough to be alert for the call?

Later.

It’s nighttime again. I’m going to be working on stuff for this Seminar project, but I got some feedback from Ezra on my spider model, so I’m working on that, first. I made the legs more angular, and inflated the joints. Now it looks even more disgusting. Zremeshing was getting rid of my surface detail, so I found this video on projecting detail from a previous version history onto the remesh. I’m waiting on the remesh to load, currently.

It worked! Now I need to re-UV it, then I can re-bake it, and re-texture it.

Su. 11/3/2024

I wrote a bit more of The Mongrel Sings. I have seven chapters drafted now. It’s 43 pages so far. If I write five pages a day through November, I can reach the 50,000 word count for NaNoWriMo. That’s roughly 166 pages.

It’s really weird, because writing Chapter 7: Like Birds, I had the idea of the martyrs who captured Algonale being unvirtuous— of really showing that anyone could be a bad person— but as I was writing, it quickly turned into those captors being slavers. And I had the idea of “deathdays”, where martyrs can know someone’s day of death. This interacts with the now existing slave trade; buyers can know exactly how long their investment will last. 

And martyrs don’t celebrate birthdays; they celebrate the anniversary of the day that they will die.

And Jesus, sitting in a chair so much, for so long, is destroying my ass. I need to exercise— or do anything active— but I’m so focused on creating these works of art— it feels all-consuming.

Later.

I had to spend all night reworking the spider model. For some reason, the high poly model had four legs in slightly different spots from the low poly— but I only realized that after doing the UVs and the baking— so I had to re-remesh, re-UV, re-bake, and then...

M. 11/4/2024

I just finished and submitted it. It’s 4:34am. 

It looks really good.

Tasks going forward today:

1. Write for NaNoWriMo

2. Re-sculpt Rachel

3. Worldbuilding assignment

4. Marvelous Designer tutorial

4.1. Find clothing references

5. Sculpt Alice’s stone arm

6. Oh, and, of course, class.

Later.

I had a cup of decaffeinated chai. I’m fasting, but since my last meal was at 1am, I’m breaking my fast at 5pm. I might breakfast a bit earlier. That’s a bit late. 

RPG Maker MZ is on sale! And with the bundle of RPG Maker XP (the Ruby coding one), it’s actually cheaper than just buying MZ by itself— $42.

Later.

I finished Monkey Man (2024).

Later.

It’s been a while since I presented a piece in front of my Modeling class. I’ve been behind for multiple assignments— and, of course— going reverse alphabetical— I was last to be shown— so all of the critiques I heard before mine arrived— they all piled up like an unwholesome mess of bones carrying me down to a personal Hell of waiting. 

But when it was my turn— after everyone else had gone— none of those other critiques were relevant to my work. Everyone really seemed to love it— Ezra included. All that worry— it was all for naught. 

I think it helped that I had 1) sent him the first draft over the weekend— so he could see that I had improved upon it, and 2) I had a story. The choices that I made were all purposeful. That petrichor spyder, it had a narrative. Over a year of preparing and playing a D&D campaign— all of that interplay with my players and the months of writing beforehand; Elderville was the best campaign that I ever completed. And that spider— that model— it held all of that.

Later.

I watched The King’s Man.

T. 11/5/2024

I’ve been nocturnal for roughly the past week. Does that make me predator or prey? Am I a craven mouse scuttling from hidey hole to another— afraid of the light of the sun— or am I a panther? This morning, I watched Kingsman: Secret Service. I’ve been sleeping less— sleeping when the sun is up— but I fear that my extra time is overbearing upon me. I stay up all night— I start to work on a creative project— but for the past couple days, I end the night— and start the morning— watching a movie that I’ve already seen— that I will get nothing out of.

Why do I do this?

W. 11/6/2024

I woke up at 8:15pm last night.

It’s 4:42am currently. I wrote a bit for The Mongrel Sings. The odd thing is, I’ve been writing less— I think because of NaNoWriMo. I started writing this project a couple of weeks ago— just for the pleasure of it. But now that I have a goal of 50,000 words— 166 pages, roughly— I’m not enjoying it anymore. Or, at least, not as much. 

I started watching Good Will Hunting.

Earlier this night, I was trying to sculpt Alice’s stone arm— but sculpting hard planes is, well, hard in ZBrush. And I’m anxious to do it in Blender. I have a bit of a creative block around Blender; it doesn’t feel like art— it also doesn’t help that I’m not intuitively good at it.

I had scheduled this night at the beginning of it. I was supposed to watch a Blender hair tutorial at 4am. At 4:30am, I was supposed to play a game. 

I did resculpt Rachel. Something still seems off about her. I fixed her face, and fingers, and feet, and removed the fusion between her legs— but it doesn’t feel real.

I think I’m going to shower.

Yesterday morning, at 6am, I went on a run. It’s been months since I’ve been that active. I finished with some hills on campus, but I walked home. I was so winded, that even after walking all the way home, collapsing on the couch in the lounge— I was still breathing ragged. 

I signed up for an MMA trial class for tonight. My mum is terrified that I’m going to get another concussion. But I told her— I said that I didn’t intend on sparring; I’m not going to get hit. I just want to learn how to throw some punches— and maybe spend some nights beating on a punching bag.

Later.

I ended up postponing my MMA class. I was too tired, and I wanted to get some sleep after class before my night.

I have my initial fitting for a fashion show in town tomorrow! I’m psyched.

I found these below references for the lancet window Boolean design that I’m going to model in Blender tonight— for Alice’s stone arm— the upper arm section.

Since the design is small, I think I’m going to structure the arch like the verdigris one on the left, and the circular window like either the bottom middle or the top right of the second image. 

Something else that I’m going to work on tonight is the base GDD for my RPG Maker space pirate game, Crossed Stars. I’m going to define the base gameplay loop, the core mechanics, and the elevator pitch. And I’m going to download RPG Maker MZ and follow some tutorials to get started.

I watched this video on designing gameplay loops. For Crossed Stars, I have multiple gameplay elements that I want to include, but I don’t currently have a way to connect them all together in a satisfying loop. For example, there will be the Bounty quests— where you go to hubs to peruse the lists of bounties put out on various space criminals, you choose one, then you go explore the Soul Leak, following up on clues to track the bounty, ultimately engaging in spaceship combat with them. (Actually, that sounds pretty cohesive.) 

But there are other elements that I want to involve, as well, such as the mining mechanic. To upgrade your ship, you need materials. To get the materials, you go out into asteroid belts and use your laser drill to mine ores, etc. from the asteroids. Then you can go to a hub to exchange the materials for upgrades. In-world, that is through supplying a mechanic with the resources, which they then use to make the requested upgrades. 

But how do I link these two loops— the Bounty quests and the Mining operations?

And what about shopping? Any good exploration game has shopping. What about you use the credits that you earn from Bounty quests, or from selling excess ore, to go to hubs and buy stuff? What stuff should you be able to buy? 

One idea I have is a gambling system. When you bring in a bounty, you get paid. You can choose to go to one of the many space casinos and engage in gambling games. How will I do that? I don’t know yet. But, essentially, you have the option to risk your payment to potentially receive a bigger reward. 

Later.

I had an idea— two ideas, actually. We’ll do the more superficial one first. Two words: space drugs. At the space casinos where you carouse after a job, there are a number of illicit substances that you can partake in. And the long-term effects of that consumption is like an RPG; you gain status buffs/debuffs based on your progression of addiction. 

Second idea. To link the mining/upgrading with the bounty hunting, you can either research the mark before hunting them down— and make preemptive upgrades to your ship to better handle the challenge— or your ship is damaged during the fight— so after, you retire to the mechanic and get some repairs done— and while you’re there, you might as well make some upgrades. 

Blog Post #7: An Inch Closer

Well, more than an inch.

I’m catching up! I am still behind in my modeling class, but the upcoming assignment is a self portrait, so I’m going to two-birds-one-stone just use the head and neck of Alice (my MC) for it— since I modeled the face after mine. That should give me some breathing room to catch up more.

I was really concerned that I wouldn’t have enough work to show this sprint— since I presented last week— but I actually managed to get almost 20 hours of work done for this project during the past week! Big wins.

Let’s get into it.

T. 10/22/2o24

Let’s see... I reworked the Rachel blockout. I also finished the blog post due tomorrow, and made a rather lackluster slideshow for my missed Sprint 3.
I also played Elderfield about 30 minutes more tonight. And, wow, it’s just a demo— but there’s so much going on in that game! There are a multitude of quests— some interacting with others, like the Ben/Pumpkid vs. Babysitting one— the areas are really intriguing, and it finds a way to work in this really subtle narrative— through dialogue and the radio/weather reports.

W. 10/23/2o24

I presented for Milestone 3 in class today. In Studio, I felt prepared and competent. I do need to get a lunchbox or something, because my lunches of two lemon zest Luna bars, a can of pineapple juice, and a handful of granola is not cutting it.

Later. 

I came back to the grad studio after eating dinner (at like 4pm) to work on modeling the MC for my Seminar project, Alice. I worked on it for about three hours. It’s 8pm now. Modeling still isn’t fun, but at least I got all of the mirror modifiers to work as expected. I got everything done except for the arms and hands. I might just copy the ones from Rachel on, and resize them. 

I used the Pomodoro technique again, taking breaks to work on The Mongrel Sings. I didn’t get very far— just like a page. Things are starting to pop off plot-wise, though! I get to really expand upon the mystical second-language world— which provides ample opportunity to indulge in experiential consistency and soft worldbuilding. 

I looked into RPG Maker more (for Crossed Stars, my space RPG). I found this tutorial on creating airships that you can enter from the broader map. You can also fly that ship around the map— it likewise demonstrated how this technique basically creates a new map that is the inside of the airship. All of this could be very useful— if I decide to purchase RPG Maker and make it in that. 

I also watched a short video on making real-time combat (instead of turn-based)— which I would use for ship combat. I cannot find that video again, unfortunately, but there are others out there that I can reference, going forward. 

I’m heavily leaning towards using RPG Maker— primarily because it is purportedly very beginner-friendly. I don’t have time or energy to learn coding or blueprints right now, so anything that helps, well, helps.

Later.

I finished the draft of the third chapter of The Mongrel Sings. Chaos unfolded, and answers will be revealed. I started chapter four. 30 pages so far. I’m excited that— now that the World of the Second Language— the Mundi Secundi, for short— will be revealed to Algonale, I can dive deep into details that expand the worldbuilding in ways that do not make sense except in this story. Whimdark. Experiential consistency. Soft worldbuilding.

Sa. 10/26/2o24

I don’t know where the days went. It does not seem like three days have gone since I last worked. But when I look back over my journaling from Thursday to today, no work is reported as having been done— except for today. I worked on my overdue totem pole assignment more for Organic Modeling. I also finished blocking out the MC (Alice) for this project. I just imported the arms from the Rachel model, deleted one, resized the remaining, and mirrored (I had to do this because the shoulder breadth is wider than Rachel). I also resized the entire model so that he’s now 6 ft. tall. (30 minutes)

Oh you know, I do remember what I worked on yesterday. I am making an updated/v.2 version of Wanderer’s Guide to Dromknost. I realized that the Botanist replicator subclass is missing the Botanical Cutting stat block— which is central to that subclass. The Botanist is one of my favorite subclasses in the book, so I definitely want to update the Amazon manuscript and digital copy to include that stat block. And, since I’m doing that, I might as well include the Stalker fighter subclass and the Hexling rogue subclass. 

Unfortunately, I accidentally deleted the InDesign file for the book when I was trying to make space on my laptop (before upgrading the storage). So I have to reformat the entire thing. At least, then, I can format it so that the inner margins aren’t as close to the spine as they were in the original version.

Su. 10/27/2o24

I- uh- I’ve been doing some theoretical work to try and get my life in order. One such thing is building a new keystone habit. “Keystone habits” are habits that affect other areas of your life. The one I’m supposedly developing is fitness. I say “supposedly” because I did all of this planning last night— figuring out which days I can go to the gym on campus, the hours of said gym, and which days that won’t work into my schedule; also picking a suitable cue (such as waking up, i.e. doing it as the first part of the day)— but “supposedly” because I had my exercise clothes laid out, I woke up at the alarm honestly feeling like it would not feel physically great to go back to sleep— but I went back to bed, and got up at 2pm. And I felt bad— physically. 

The days I have class in the morning are the two days that I, therefore, cannot go to the gym in the morning— but I planned out the other five days. I’ve been so focused on only doing enough exercise to keep my body looking aesthetic— but with fasting, I honestly don’t have to do much at all. This didn’t used to be the case. Back in high school, I was on the Olympic Training Plan for pole vault, and I didn’t give a damn about how I looked; I just cared about performance. Since leaving that sport, my mindset has been slowly changing towards what it is now. 

And I realize— writing this— that this mindset about fitness isn’t just tied to fitness. This “bare-minimum” for superficial reasons mindset has applied itself to my creative work. I take such pride in being a creative, and it’s one of my highest valued qualities in myself— if not the highest. But I think that I’ve just been doing enough to be able to say that about myself. When was the last time I completed a complex work of art? Years. How much time am I devoting to my craft here at grad school? A shockingly small amount. I think a better quality to value would be integrity. Because then, at least, I would believe in myself, and know that I am what I say I am. 

So maybe fitness really is the ideal keystone habit to develop. It has roots that go deep into my psyche. 

As I am documenting this thought process in writing, I feel guilt. And shame. And I know that “happiness causes increased productivity,” and that “we learn better when we’re happy”— but I’ve done a lot to try and fix myself over the past two decades— including self-compassion— and I think there’s definitely something to be said for brutally honest self-inventory. 

This sprint I’ll only be documenting one week of work— since I presented last week, as a result of being behind. But I’d prefer to assume that, despite any accommodations I will be receiving, I’m still expected to have those minimum eight hours of work done this sprint. I have maybe 1 hour of work done on Pareidolia. So in the next few days before presenting Wednesday morning, I need to get at least 7 hours of work done. I also need to start sculpting Rachel for Spooky Horsey House— and we have our virtual meeting tomorrow night. And I’m still not finished with my totem pole for my Organic Modeling class— now three weeks late. I finally reworked the individual, smaller components into one mesh that I can remesh and add the wooden texture to. I’m attaching an image below. 

It’s supposed to be a mongoose on top (Taako). Kinda looks more like a mouse. I might rework it.

If I want to reach the point of automaticity for my new habit of fitness, doing it everyday will prove most effective. And if my cue is waking up (my mentor says that multiple cues is less effective), then I need to wake up early enough before class tomorrow morning so that I can go on a run or something. The gym doesn’t open early enough for me to go there before class. In undergrad, sometimes I would wake up at 5am or earlier to go to our school gym right when they opened. This school has a less opportune set of hours. 

And I know that exercise might not seem applicable to my Seminar project, but I truly think it is. How I do one thing is how I do everything— or how the saying goes. 

Yeah, so I’m going to journal, then shower; go to bed, and wake up early enough before class to work out. I have my intake meeting for accommodations tomorrow, as well. Mustn’t forget that. 

I’m tired of seeing my checklists largely unchecked; I want to build strength, not just a malnourished thin body with a defined jaw and ragged breaths at the top of the staircase.

Oh! My brother-in-law recommended taking magnesium supplements. He said that it helps with better sleep and less tiredness during the day. So I got that, and started taking it today. 

M. 10/28/2o24

(6 hours)

Phew what a day! I went to class (Modeling) (I almost didn’t go), I had my intake meeting for accommodations to help me catch up in classes, and I did a lot of sculpting. 

Here is what I did in class. The computers in the lab have an older version of ZBrush on them, so I couldn't work on my totem pole (Ezra recommended uploading an OBJ file to the cloud instead of a ZTool), but we started work on the next assignment (after the insect, which I still haven’t started)— a self portrait! I made that head without reference, and I’m pretty pleased with how it came out. 

The female model below is Rachel, for (working title) Spooky Horsey House.I spent like two hours working with the Rachel and the Alice models trying to get rid of these weird planar props connecting their heads to their wrists. I am counting those hours towards this. Eventually I fixed it— manifold-meshing, then re-exporting. With Rachel, there’s the issue of her thighs being fused together. 

Alice is further below. I referenced malnourished male models for the bones and musculature of the body, and I modeled the head after me! For the bones and muscles, I took inspiration from humans, but he is adventuring in a fairy tale land, so I exaggerated certain areas— and took some liberties with the details. 

Since I have to make a self-portrait for class, I think I’m going to just learn how to make hair for it, and use the Alice model— it is more refined than what I did in class today. Two birds, one stone. 

I still need to make clothes for Alice, and model the stone arm. Work for tomorrow! I spent two hours tonight on the Rachel sculpt and two hours on the Alice sculpt— I’m counting both of those for this Seminar project, because I started with Rachel, and applied the skills I gained doing it for the Alice sculpt. Oh, here’s a close-up of Alice!

I couldn’t get the RGB painting to work for the eyeball, so it remains red clay. I did get it to work both in class and for the Rachel model— I don’t know what was different with this model.

I was stressed about not having at least eight hours of work to show for this sprint, but looking back over my notes, I have at least nine hours dedicated just to the Alice sculpt (including troubleshooting and making the Rachel sculpt)— and I’m going to work on clothes tomorrow!

Well! It is officially tomorrow! I’ll check in— well, today!

T. 10/29/2o24

(7 hours)

I watched this tutorial on making realistic hair— going from ZBrush to Maya. It was really short and didn’t cover a lot; my research is just beginning. 

I looked up Maya. Jesus Christ is it expensive! I cannot afford that, and I’d prefer to stick with one program, rather than using its free trial and then having to learn another program. 

I searched for realistic hair tutorials for Blender, and found this one. It said “easily” in the title, but my god, was it a lot to follow. I didn’t understand most of it. Maybe I’ll work more efficiently tonight by just finishing the face, body, and modeling the stone arm. I’ll get to hair for the next milestone. 

I’m not sure which program I’ll use for the stone arm. I want it to thematically have similarities to the edifices of a gothic church. If I use Blender, I found this tutorial on using the knife tool. I’m leaning towards ZBrush, though.

Later.

I finished the base sculpt for the Rachel model for Spooky Horsey House— including the ears, which was fun, because I’ve never really done any art with defined ears before— and I modeled the stone arm for the MC of this project.  

I want it to be reminiscent of a Gothic church— the large steepled bits closer to the shoulder will have carvings to look like the stained glass windows of a cathedral’s façade. I haven't gotten to that yet. Modeling those steeples actually took a significant amount of work; I had to subdivide individual edges and F form new edges and planes between the vertices. It took two tries. 

I also kept the elbow section just as a slightly scaled up version of the organic elbow— I’m not sure how much it will deform in-engine when the arm bends, so I’m playing it safe. 

I will do the hand separately.

Blog Post #6 A Bit of Being Lost; A Bit of Being Found

M. 10/7/2024

(3 hours)

I worked on the religious aspect of the worldbuilding for this project. I had notes on this magic system based around emotion and supernatural patrons— the Obsidian vault got lost in the fire, but I still have the commonplace book with scattered notes throughout. I was able to recreate a satisfying amount of the lore. I’ll post it here, as well.

In the living Ettingrad— filled with humans alone— there is one cell of supernatural beings that grant mortals with power. They are called “Sadists,” because they feed off of powerful emotion— usually suffering— and catalyze that energy into their own strength. The Sadists do not exist in either the Mortal Realm or in the Epilogue; they exist somewhere out in the Aether, watching, watching. 

In ancient times, lives were offered as blood sacrifices to the Sadists— offered in gruesome spectacles designed to evoke visceral emotion. The rituals to create such a link between the otherworldly and the mundane have long since been lost, but the blood-soaked stone altars remain potent sources of connection with the bloody patrons. The stone of the altars (stained red) have been carved into wieldable artifacts known as “crucifixes.” Those crucifixes are engraved with literary “Passages” that evoke a particular emotion. Magick, Bloodletting, Martyrdom— they’re all names for the very specific brand of spellcasting that acolytes of the Sadists employ. To successfully cast a spell, the martyr has to empathize with the emotion of the Passage, which then creates a magical effect dependent on the content of the writing. 

Bloodletting is a sacred practice, and is held and employed by a very insular group of citizens in Ettingrad. I am attaching a chart depicting the situation.

Let me break it down.

Not everyone knows about the Sadists; in fact, very few do. There are martyrs (casters) who, yes, do know (Ym); there are martyrs who, no, do not know (Nm); there are commoners (Co) who are not spellcasters at all.

I: Industrialists; value industry. The few who do know about bloodletting— even just a miniscule amount of speculation regarding unexplainable effects— seek to turn that into a power source for their industrialization.

C: Cultists; value Sadists. They seek to pervert others to the Sadists’ cause, typically through the use of crucifixes with dried “marrow.”✝

R: Religious; value community/the people. Very few religious clergymen and followers know about the Sadists. There is a religious sect in Ettingrad known as the “Common Faith,” which ignorantly takes tales originating from bloodletting and creates sacred rites and practices around them. 

W: Witches; value bonds. All witches are only Ym (which is why they aren’t in the chart). Witches seek to create implements of spellcasting devoid of corruption. They do so by breaking the “Taboo of Erosion”— grinding crucifixes to dust, mixing dust from multiple crucifixes, and using that to cast— and by breaking the “Taboo of Masochism”— engraving Passages on bones of martyrs— living and dead. As they regularly break these taboos, witches function in small groups (usually three or less); they cannot trust most.

✝ “Marrow” is the residual blood remaining in crucifixes. It serves as a human filter for the corrupting influence of the Sadists. Cultists purposefully induct new initiates with dried up crucifixes to allow for this to occur. 

Let’s talk about the misguided faith of the Commoners. 

The Common Faith is the religion that the majority of the citizens of Ettingrad subscribe to. It maintains cultural aspects of bloodletting— primarily with the continued use of Old Runic— the language used by the sacrificers of yore to communicate with the Sadists— in its sacred rituals. There are “saints” of the Common Faith— people with supernatural powers. A significant portion of these saints are Children of Stone.

When a martyr dies, but the emotion coursing through their veins at the time of their death is potent enough, that Essence— everything that made up that person— is sucked into the crucifix they were using. That Essence within a crucifix is known as a “Motive,” and, if wielded by another martyr, influences the casting with its personality and memories. The unfinished business that ties its Essence to the Mortal Realm can be absolved, but only if the Motive consciously “gives up their ghost”, sacrificing their pain for someone else’s good. The most iconic of these Motives are known as “blood giants”— golems formed of bloodstained stone that move of their own volition. Tales are whispered about blood giants— about their vicious nature, lashing out at anything that moves— but to most, those are folktales. Regardless, if a Motive “gives up the ghost,” the stone of their crucifix vessel cracks open, and an organic child is borne forth. These are the Children of Stone.

Children of Stone are unique in a number of ways. They do not retain memories of their past selves; they are a blank slate. And, as creatures who have transcended their suffering, they can perform magical effects without the patronage of the Sadists. 

Seeing as they don’t know the cause of their powers, it makes sense why people would flock to these individuals— ordinary in all ways aside from one. 

There is a small cult following a purported Child of Stone named Clay Reaper. He is, in fact, not a Child of Stone; he merely coerced a witch into carving runes into his bones, and sewing him back up— giving him supernatural powers as long as the wounds cause him to suffer. 

Ok I actually need to start answering the assignment prompts.

Any Gods/Spirits/Supernatural Beings

Sadists.

At least One Story (Creation, Love, etc.)

The spellcasters of a thousand years past sacrificed hundreds of people on their stone sacrificial altars. The suffering evoked created an indelible bond between the Sadists and the mortals. Now, with the sacrificial rites long since lost, the stone of the bloodsoaked altars is used as the base material for various magical implements, known as “crucifixes.” Passages evoking powerful emotion are carved into the crucifixes in the ancient language, Old Runic, to implore the Sadists to give the martyrs power.

At least One Custom (Marriage, Wedding, etc.)

When a martyr dies, their corpse is riddled with lingering soulful magick. It is seen as desecration by some, but for the crafty witches, the death of a martyr presents the opportunity to create new, organic crucifixes constructed of the dead martyr’s bones. This additional layer of humanity offers a buffer between the corrupting influence of the Sadists and the next spellcaster.

At least One Holiday

The Day of Industrious Fortification. Multiple times a year, ne’er-do-wells are rounded up and placed in the “Cathedrals” located throughout the city. These were actual religious cathedrals, but the city was forced to sell them to the industrialists to pay off its debts. The industrialists repurposed the vaulted grandeur into a confined arena. Seating in the higher alcoves provides the eager audiences with a view into the bloodbath below, as the proclaimed “sacrifices” are forced to battle each other to the death.§ Channels and pipes funnel the blood of the sacrifices out through a series of aqueducts, into the river “capillaries” snaking throughout the city. On the Days of Industrious Fortification, the rivers run red.ꟸ

§This was proposed to welcome acclaim by one leading industrialist, Alister Vaunt— an individual with a thirst for ancient lore that drove him to understanding the base aspects of the blood sacrifices of yore.

ꟸAt least one famous cryptid arose from these occurrences: the Old Man of the River— a bloated figure that stares hollowly out from reflections of the rivers streaked with blood. Casual passersby are in for a shock, when a purposeless glance into the water below reflects not them, but an obese old man mirroring their movements. To go further into the lore, the Old Man of the River was one of the leaders of the sacrifices a thousand years ago. His acolytes— crazed and bloodthirsty— one day chose to pin him down on an altar positioned over a spring, and sacrifice him. His blood ran down the altar, into the bubbling font.

Any Beliefs or Morals held by the people. (At least 3)

1. The Taboo of Erosion. Stone naturally erodes, and thus it is superbly disallowed to carve new runic Passages into existing crucifixes. The resource of bloodstained altars is nonrenewable; it must be preserved. 

2. The Taboo of Masochism. It is taboo to carve runic Passages into organic material— living and dead. There is no “marrow” to filter the corrupting influence of the Sadists; living masochists often become possessed by a mindless drive to inflict suffering upon others. 

3. The Taboo of Corruption. While a distinct sect of cultists to the Sadists do this, it is generally taboo to present new martyr initiates with crucifixes devoid of “marrow.” This is— similar to the Taboo of Masochism— to prevent the corrupting influence of the Sadists upon unsuspecting new initiates. 

Description of Education and Worship 

There are two aspects to this. 1) The education and worship of those of the Common Faith. 2) The education and worship of martyrs.

1) The Common Faith raises its acolytes from birth, overseeing naming rituals, bonding rituals, and rites of passage. The Faith finds itself no longer in grand cathedrals, but in humble temples erected throughout Ettingrad. The clergy promotes love for the collective— for the people— and selflessness above all. This often took place in the form of group mind-melding— a form of collective meditation, directed to further a sense of oneness. In the time of the Great War, even cynics flocked to the temples to seek guidance. What they did not realize, though, was that it was collectivism that caused the atrocities of war. 

2) The Martyrs are— and were— scholars by trade. Traditionally, martyrdom and the process of bloodletting is not passed down by familial lines. High ranking scholars and professors in the universities of Ettingrad single out promising writers and artists— as well as linguists— and guide them through an exceptionally limited trial casting. It is never enough for the candidate to extrapolate and fill their gaps in understanding; they would never be able to deduce the intricacies of bloodletting by these trials. If the trial goes successfully, and the candidate resists the corruption of the Sadists capably, the elder moves forward to induct the new initiate into the myriad ranks of martyrs. 

Martyrdom is diverse and varied in its practices. There are conservative casters, using ancient crucifixes pre-written with Passages. There are reckless cultists, imposing their chaotic wills upon unsuspecting newlings. And, among others, there are witches, isolated crafters and innovators, hoping to preserve the bonds of humanity within martyrdom. 

Conservatives do not worship the Sadists. They study them, and they study great literature of the past, to better understand and empathize with pre-written Passages.

Cultists do worship the Sadists. They perform ill-founded rituals, attempting to recreate sacrifices of yore. They educate initiates through séances, opening their unshielded minds to the eldritch influence of their dark patrons. 

Witches are agnostic, and actually have many similar values with those of the Common Faith. They cherish community— though they are excluded from it— and aim to preserve human bonds above all. Their practices are secretive, and witches do not easily trust newcomers with their knowledge. They do take pity upon those who have tried to do what they do— innovate bloodletting and protect martyrs— and in those rare and tragic circumstances, can be swayed to allow a witchling into their ranks. 

T. 10/8/2024

(5.5 hours)

I researched ten folklore creatures for the assault scenario. I’ve included the list below, compiled from watching this video. 

1. A-Senee-Ki-Wakw: a race of stone giants from Abenaki folklore; made of stones

2. Onocentaur: a bipedal centaur with its only two legs being donkey legs

3. Kee-Wakw: a giant part-human, part-animal cannibalistic forest dwelling creature; horns of a deer; covered in shaggy fur

4. Fish Man: an entity of Spanish folklore that looks pretty much just as expected

5. Bannik: a Slavic guardian spirit of bathhouses; he appears as a small, naked, long-bearded old man; he is covered in birch leaves (left over from bath brooms); he pours boiling water on intruders— or strangles them.

6. Psoglav: a Balkan mythological creature, described as having a human body with horse legs, a dog's head with iron teeth, and a single eye on the forehead; man eating— even going as far as digging up bodies to eat

7. Indus Worm: a giant, white, carnivorous worm, with a pair of large teeth; lived in the Indus River

8. Scorpion Man: a race of creatures similar in structure to the centaur— but swap horse parts for scorpion parts

9. Oozlum Bird: a spiritual bird that, when startled, flies around in decreasing circles, until it flies up its own backside— disappearing completely

10. Fachan: in Scottish folklore, described as having a single eye in the middle of its face, a single hand protruding from its chest instead of arms, and a single leg emerging from its central axis; it uses an iron spiked club to chase away anything that comes near it; it hates life, and will destroy entire farms in a single day

This took about 20 minutes.

One of my goals for this sprint is defining ten folklore creatures for the assault scenario, so this is good! I specifically chose a variety of creatures that won’t necessarily upstage Nøkken. I want the creatures to be recognizable, but not too easily.

Idea! Bena has a well or perhaps a large bath in her hovel— the Fish Man erupts from the water.

Later.

I was just working on the Spooky Horsey House map whitebox for like three hours— saving consistently— but it crashed again and the file upon reopening had none of the progress that I made. I feel really bad saying this, but I doubt Adam reads this blog— I’ve realized that I hate modeling. Like sculpting? Yeah, love it. But this recreating blocky shapes— first off from a map that I did not make the final version of— is arduous, challenging, and makes me want to slam my skull through the desk. And then it crashes, and removes all of the meager progress I’ve made. 

A main challenge is that this 3D visualization necessary to take this tiny map and make it a big 3D one— it’s not something that’s coming easily to me. I have to fly back to the foyer and view the entire map from that perspective— then fly over to where I’m building the next room, build it wrong because I lost that perspective, and have to rebuild over and over again.

I asked in the project Discord whether it’s possible to import the 2D map as a reference into the whiteboxing level— blow it up, and put it on the ground plane. That would help so much!

Even later.

I remember this scene from the first Fablehaven book where fairy tale creatures are assaulting the attic where the main characters sleep. I think that scene is a big inspiration for the hovel assault scenario. So, I got the book on my Kindle, and started rereading it. I hadn’t read it since I was a kid; I was surprised by how not-low the reading level it is. Like, it’s definitely a YA book, but it’s still pretty good. It holds up. (2 hours).

W. 10/9/2024

(2 hours)

I went to bed last night at like 2am (I was reading Fablehaven), and I woke up at 6:45am. 

During Studio, I worked on filling out the asset list, and finding references for each to put on the Miro. Adam said that he’s going to do the whiteboxing. I am eternally grateful.

Later.

I just spent an hour and a half trying to ZSphere my MC, Alice. I figured something out— but overall it was a frustrating waste of time; nothing to show. The thing I figured out is that I can change the mirror center through Transform —> Set Pivot Point. So even if the mesh isn’t in the center, I can make it the center, and do Mirror X Axis. 

The reason why it was a frustrating waste of time was that the spheres kept moving out of alignment— so I would have to re-align each of them; I also had to restart three or four times because something happened that I still don’t fully understand— but it messed up the mesh so badly that restarting was the only option. I really hate modeling. Once I get to the sculpting, I’m golden. But getting to that point is really quite awful. I would continue working on it, but it’s late, and I still have to do my Ultimate Self Confidence Mindvalley quest lesson for the day. I intend on getting up early— not as early as today— and working on my projects tomorrow with a clear head.

W. 10/16/2024

I just spent an hour and a half modeling Rachel for my Studio project.

I didn’t get very far, but it’s still a big win.

For the past three-ish weeks, I’ve been experiencing a depressive episode. This happens to me pretty regularly— just a psychological predisposition. And as a result, I have gotten very little done in terms of work for both my Studio project and my Seminar project.

I didn’t present in Seminar today. And I’d been sleeping so much that I was concerned I wouldn’t wake up in time for class, so I just didn’t sleep last night. I wrote this this morning, after taking a cold shower at 5am.

“It’s like a fever broke. I was standing in the shower— just out of reach of the cold water— listing things that I was grateful for. And usually that lifts my spirits, but suddenly I found myself shaking with tearless sobs— feeling that all of the effort, and study, and fasting— feeling that trying so hard to live a good life— was the cause for the multiple week-long depressive episode that I had found myself in. And I said out loud, to myself, “This just happens. I am prone to regular depressive episodes. It is not caused by the effort of doing good. It is just probable that if I have been trying so hard for a while— that an episode will come on. It’s like flow state. It’s not a light switch; it’s cyclical. First comes the struggle, then release, then flow, then recovery. And I had never before realized that that is perfectly analogous to my mental health. I try so hard, but when lows strike me, I assume that it was caused by my effort, and, without fail, I have given up. I have never made it beyond the Struggle phase.

“And suddenly, I felt like I could breathe again. And suddenly, I realized that for weeks, I had been holding my breath— and now, now I could breathe again. And part of that is metaphorical— but part of it is actually literal; I’ve been congested for about as long as this depressive episode has been going on, and I have held my breath more than I should— because I didn’t want to mouth-breathe. But primarily, it was like I had been swimming in darkness— groping out for the light, the surface— and breaking that glassy surface into something bright again. And the pressure in my lungs eased. And I breathed easily. 

“And I feel good now. I was concerned that I wouldn’t wake up in time for class, so I had decided to just never go to bed. And my stomach is a bit upset— but that’s expected. I feel a bit of the chills— but that’s expected. 

“So I breathe, and I push onward. I don’t know if it’s genuine— if the depressive episode is over— but I do know what is over: giving up when I hit a dip. I am dedicated to my creativity, and for that, I need to crest over the Struggle phase, through Release, into Flow, and Recover actively.

“I once wrote, “We are just beginning.” At that time, I did not realize just how true it was.”

And I didn’t feel physically on top today. Seminar was virtual, but I still went to the grad lab (so I wouldn’t be late for Studio). But I was falling asleep. And during Studio, Adam said I could go home early, so I did, and I took a five hour nap. 

But I have a new perspective. And I’m grateful for that.

And I worked on actual schoolwork.

I have been doing a bit of game design during this depressive episode, but only for D&D. I wrote two subclasses— the fighter Stalker and the Rogue Hexling— both of which I’m very proud of. I’m not going to detail them here— they’re going to go in the next book— but they’re both pretty complex, and I’ll be playing the hexling for my replacement character for my campaign here.

I’ll be getting academic accommodations soon, so being so behind on three of my four classes shouldn’t affect my grades— I don’t know what the significance of grades are in grad school, though— especially in this program, the skills we develop speaks more than grades. I do want to keep mine up, though.

Later.

I’m still feeling a bit unwell after last night, so I sent the picture of my progress on Rachel to Adam, then retired to play Hogwarts Legacy (1 hour). I’m not sure what they did, but the hair, in particular, looks way better. Must be in the recent updates? I remember Ezra saying that people make a good living just doing hair for AAA game studios. I wonder how I could learn how to make hair like that.

F. 10/18/2024

I went and got my letter of accommodation. And I submitted it to the Student Accessibility office. It says that it can take up to two weeks to schedule an intake to discuss accommodations.

Sa. 10/19/2024

I have been writing. A lot. I wrote most of the day today. I have been feeling better. I have not exactly been doing better. My mum called me in the evening and asked what I’ve been up to. I told her, I said, “I’ve been writing.” She asked, “For school?” And I replied, “For pleasure.” She reminded me of the Pomodoro technique, and suggested that writing for pleasure could be the breaks. So I got down to work. I made the Magnus Bear heads for my long-late Totem Pole modeling assignment. 

Su. 10/20/2024

When I was growing up, I spent a portion of every summer— 3rd grade - 10th grade— at a creative writing camp at UCSD. What I wrote changed a lot. Sometimes it wasn’t very serious. I had a buddy, Ian, who went to Coronado— the years we were both in the program, we collaborated on some pretty inane stuff. I never got his contact info. At a pole vault meet at Coronado, I thought I saw him, in the distance. He ran distance. But I hesitated, and he was gone. If Ian, if you see this, send me an email. mkb@findingmason.com. 

After Ian graduated from the camp, I settled down, and actually got pretty passionate about writing performance poetry. Slam poetry. I had a pretty misled approach to the content I was writing about— I thought it had to be about traumatic stuff I’d been through. And I’m not saying that it has to be about happy stuff. It just doesn’t have to be about anything. Not nothing. Just not one thing. 

And when I graduated from the camp, I was invited back on as a Teaching Assistant. I taught spoken word poetry. My last summer as a TA there, I was pretty sick— you know, in the head— but I had a fulfilling time— especially when I got to work with the older students. Students who actually cared about what they were writing. 

In high school, I performed with the Poetry Club; in my senior year, I became Vice President of it. 

I wrote poetry throughout undergrad. I had some pretty upsetting pieces that I submitted to the Button Poetry video contest, a few years back. I took an upper div poetry workshop in my final year. I had a thing with a poet in that class. My poetry at that time was better— at least, in content— and also probably in technique. 

But I haven’t written fiction prose in years. I sat down about a week ago and tried to write. I couldn’t. It just didn’t work. Nothing came. The world didn’t move. But I remembered, later in the week, how flow state is already primed immediately when you wake up, so— I think it was Friday— I did that. I sat down and wrote for over an hour (I had said to myself, “15 minutes”) just after I woke up. Saturday, I wrote throughout the day. Today, Sunday, I got up at 9:30am (wow!) and wrote immediately. Over the past, like, three days— let’s see, I’ve written 23 pages. It’s all cohesive. It’s one story. I’m not going to say what it’s about, yet, because that’ll spoil my need to create it— having a premature audience, and all. I’m not writing for any goal. I’m not writing because I have to. I’m writing because it’s enjoyable. Today, I did the Pomodoro technique again— “work” = my totem pole; “break” = writing. Sometimes its hard getting back into the story in those five minutes; sometimes I stay overlong in those breaks, finishing up an idea. 

I think the beauty of it is that I’m not dedicated to an end product. I’m not writing to, per se, have a book at the end. I’m just writing, and it’s turning into a longer, cohesive piece— longer and more cohesive than any prose I’ve ever written before. And I’ve been writing for almost two decades. 

Thinking about it— the autotelicity of it— it reminds me that my published D&D book, Wanderer’s Guide to Dromknost (available on my homepage) was the same. I was never planning on having a book until a few months before leaving for grad school. I was just writing homebrew content because I enjoyed it. It was certainly not all being playtested. I have around 80 subclasses, including from two original classes, and I ran, like, three campaigns with 4-5 players each over the past three years. So, yeah. Autotelic. 

And I doubt that I’d be writing this much about this, right now, if I hadn’t been writing purposefully— in fictional prose. 

Anyways, here’s what I have for my totem pole.

It’s supposed to have a central theme. I was thinking about doing Eikons from FFXVI, but those wouldn’t look natural— at least, trying to make it look carved from a singular tree trunk. So, eventually, I decided on doing the mascots for Magnus Burnsides, Merle Highchurch, and Taako Taako— the bear, the owl (I added his eyepatch for fun), and the mongoose. I just have the mongoose left. I wanted it to look interesting from all angles, so I arrayed the faces around a central column. I’ll make it look more cohesive— and add unifying grain and cracks— once Taako’s mongoose is done. 

I need to work on this Seminar project. But I have been creating, and I hadn’t been feeling well at all— so creating anything still feels like an accomplishment. And getting up at 9:30am today— well, there were days in the past three weeks that I got up after 4pm— and days that I slept 20 hours. So, yeah, an accomplishment. 

M. 10/21/2024

Today I finished blocking out the Rachel mesh. Adam’s going to look over it— and, if approved, I’ll start sculpting. Similar to the past two days, I did the Pomodoro technique— writing in my breaks. I wrote a couple more pages of The Mongrel Sings. Not much, and it was harder to write, but still staying in the groove of that story.

 In Organic Modeling today, we had a bit of a chill day, so I had time to ask Ezra some questions about customizing ZBrush— I had had trouble getting into the Zoom call the day he went over it. I took notes, and tried to replicate it myself— got some help— and replicated it here, at home. It’s mostly just having a custom menu with a few frequently used brushes.

Speaking of Organic Modeling, I sculpted and modeled Taako’s mongoose for the totem assignment. I added a wizard hat just to tie it all together. Obviously, I’ll be touching it up in ZBrush. But I have all of the components done!

I watched a devlog video about Welcome to Elderfield. It’s a solo-developed game— made in RPGMaker— that mixes farming sim with eldritch horror and turn-based combat. There’s a demo out, which I downloaded, and am planning on playing tonight after writing this. It’s made by someone who historically is a musician and visual artist— and has a podcast called The Weather Channel, which has the same setting as Welcome to Elderfield. I found the Ill-Advised Records (his label) playlist on Spotify— and have been listening to it for the past few hours— including in the shower! It’s like lofi but with some horror mixed in. One of my most productive playlists (playlists that induce productivity) is the Bloodborne soundtrack; like that, Ill-Advised has just enough deliberate stress-inducing qualities for my purposes.

What else?

Oh I asked my friends from UC Davis if they would want to read what I’ve been writing. They’re still waiting on the personalized copies of Wanderer’s Guide to Dromknost— and we only play our pirate campaign once a month— so I felt like sharing. There are a lot of references to our D&D campaigns in The Mongrel Sings. I reinstalled InDesign, and made a pair of pdfs— one in A5 (like a book) and the other just a standard pdf (this one maintained italics). I only included the completed first drafts of the first two chapters. Remembering Andy Weir’s interview on Re:Thinking— I chose not to include or even reference unfinished parts of the story. The only bits that see an audience are the completed drafts. That keeps my motivation to write flying. 

Later.

I played Welcome to Elderfield for about an hour. It’s almost midnight. But I’ve already showered and all. I realize that I have never played a farming sim. And Elderfield is more than that— it’s incomplete, but it has really interesting thematic elements that attracted me; I’ve never been attracted to playing Stardew Valley, by contrast. Visually it’s striking, with its dark shadows and warm hues. Narratively, I can already tell that— when it’s finished— it’ll have a great story— with innovative mechanics, as well. 

Side note. I ran a D&D campaign a couple of years back— the setting was the miniature, magic-infused, gothic horror town of Elderville. Whenever I think about Elderfield, I think about Elderville. And Elderville is, possibly, the campaign that I’m most proud of having run. I crafted 3D maps. I wrote much of the plot before starting the campaign. The vibes were immaculate. I had “DLC” to expand when we wanted to extend the length. So, it’s definitely biased— my appreciation for Elderfield. Worth noting.

I had an idea while playing— I still want to make Crossed Stars, the retro space RPG. It was so complicated making the 2D elements in a top-down version of Unreal; Elderfield was made in RPGMaker— the developer said that it was really easy. Maybe— along with continuing my studies and Seminar project and Studio and all— I could try making Crossed Stars in RPGMaker. And I definitely want the Big Bad to be an eldritch horror— it’s in space, and I love horror— this end enemy can influence the thematic elements leading up to it. 

T. 10/22/2024

Today I slept until 2pm. I’m not upset, though. For the first time, I had a dream that seemed to last just as long as how long I was sleeping. And it was super elaborate, and very inspirational— from a game dev perspective. I was with my mum and my younger sister, and we were in a forest lodge town in winter— no snow yet, just frigid. We were going from location to location, solving really complicated puzzles (which, of course, I cannot remember clearly— other than that they were dope); each puzzle solved spawned a clue, which we used to go to the next location— and the next puzzle. Eventually, we realized that all of it was building up to an eldritch abomination that had begun terrorizing the town— it had the form of a giant spider (Nameless, anyone?). There was all this lore about hunting abominations— the hunters (us— at this point joined by my childhood dog, Scrappy) were alerted to the presence of the aberration when it started causing ruin; the monster was also alerted to the identities of the hunters hunting it— and more than that, because these monstrosities had the preternatural perception to watch us, listen to us— from anywhere— despite its physical location. So when we started making plans to hunt it, we had to be very discreet. We had to refrain from talking about it as much as possible, and we had to keep physical evidence of our plans secret— even from the other hunters.

I can only assume that this dream was caused by playing Elderfield before bed last night. Who would’ve thought that a cozy horror farming game could spawn such an intriguing, suspenseful dream?

Anyway, not much work done yet today. I arrived to the classroom of my worldbuilding class 45 minutes early; I knew that if I stayed home, I’d be unproductive/asleep— so I’m here, and working on finishing this blog post and making the PowerPoint to submit for last week’s sprint (that I missed, because of— the tough time I’ve been having).

I messaged Adam about the Rachel blockout. He responded that a) it is twelve feet tall, and b) it’s too stylized. So I’m going to rework the proportions after class tonight— since Studio is tomorrow.

I forgot to take note of the time spent on creative work— from the past few days— but I’ve been working around five-to-six hours a day on this stuff— sometimes more.

Blog Post #5: Ah, I Hate Modeling

M. 10/7/2024

(3 hours)

I worked on the religious aspect of the worldbuilding for this project. I had notes on this magic system based around emotion and supernatural patrons— the Obsidian vault got lost in the fire, but I still have the commonplace book with scattered notes throughout. I was able to recreate a satisfying amount of the lore. I’ll post it here, as well.

In the living Ettingrad— filled with humans alone— there is one cell of supernatural beings that grant mortals with power. They are called “Sadists,” because they feed off of powerful emotion— usually suffering— and catalyze that energy into their own strength. The Sadists do not exist in either the Mortal Realm or in the Epilogue; they exist somewhere out in the Aether, watching, watching. 

In ancient times, lives were offered as blood sacrifices to the Sadists— offered in gruesome spectacles designed to evoke visceral emotion. The rituals to create such a link between the otherworldly and the mundane have long since been lost, but the blood-soaked stone altars remain potent sources of connection with the bloody patrons. The stone of the altars (stained red) have been carved into wieldable artifacts known as “crucifixes.” Those crucifixes are engraved with literary “Passages” that evoke a particular emotion. Magick, Bloodletting, Martyrdom— they’re all names for the very specific brand of spellcasting that acolytes of the Sadists employ. To successfully cast a spell, the martyr has to empathize with the emotion of the Passage, which then creates a magical effect dependent on the content of the writing. 

Bloodletting is a sacred practice, and is held and employed by a very insular group of citizens in Ettingrad. I am attaching a chart depicting the situation.

Let me break it down.

Not everyone knows about the Sadists; in fact, very few do. There are martyrs (casters) who, yes, do know (Ym); there are martyrs who, no, do not know (Nm); there are commoners (Co) who are not spellcasters at all.

I: Industrialists; value industry. The few who do know about bloodletting— even just a miniscule amount of speculation regarding unexplainable effects— seek to turn that into a power source for their industrialization.

C: Cultists; value Sadists. They seek to pervert others to the Sadists’ cause, typically through the use of crucifixes with dried “marrow.”✝

R: Religious; value community/the people. Very few religious clergymen and followers know about the Sadists. There is a religious sect in Ettingrad known as the “Common Faith,” which ignorantly takes tales originating from bloodletting and creates sacred rites and practices around them. 

W: Witches; value bonds. All witches are only Ym (which is why they aren’t in the chart). Witches seek to create implements of spellcasting devoid of corruption. They do so by breaking the “Taboo of Erosion”— grinding crucifixes to dust, mixing dust from multiple crucifixes, and using that to cast— and by breaking the “Taboo of Masochism”— engraving Passages on bones of martyrs— living and dead. As they regularly break these taboos, witches function in small groups (usually three or less); they cannot trust most.

✝ “Marrow” is the residual blood remaining in crucifixes. It serves as a human filter for the corrupting influence of the Sadists. Cultists purposefully induct new initiates with dried up crucifixes to allow for this to occur. 

Let’s talk about the misguided faith of the Commoners. 

The Common Faith is the religion that the majority of the citizens of Ettingrad subscribe to. It maintains cultural aspects of bloodletting— primarily with the continued use of Old Runic— the language used by the sacrificers of yore to communicate with the Sadists— in its sacred rituals. There are “saints” of the Common Faith— people with supernatural powers. A significant portion of these saints are Children of Stone.

When a martyr dies, but the emotion coursing through their veins at the time of their death is potent enough, that Essence— everything that made up that person— is sucked into the crucifix they were using. That Essence within a crucifix is known as a “Motive,” and, if wielded by another martyr, influences the casting with its personality and memories. The unfinished business that ties its Essence to the Mortal Realm can be absolved, but only if the Motive consciously “gives up their ghost”, sacrificing their pain for someone else’s good. The most iconic of these Motives are known as “blood giants”— golems formed of bloodstained stone that move of their own volition. Tales are whispered about blood giants— about their vicious nature, lashing out at anything that moves— but to most, those are folktales. Regardless, if a Motive “gives up the ghost,” the stone of their crucifix vessel cracks open, and an organic child is borne forth. These are the Children of Stone.

Children of Stone are unique in a number of ways. They do not retain memories of their past selves; they are a blank slate. And, as creatures who have transcended their suffering, they can perform magical effects without the patronage of the Sadists. 

Seeing as they don’t know the cause of their powers, it makes sense why people would flock to these individuals— ordinary in all ways aside from one. 

There is a small cult following a purported Child of Stone named Clay Reaper. He is, in fact, not a Child of Stone; he merely coerced a witch into carving runes into his bones, and sewing him back up— giving him supernatural powers as long as the wounds cause him to suffer. 

Ok I actually need to start answering the assignment prompts.

Any Gods/Spirits/Supernatural Beings

Sadists.

At least One Story (Creation, Love, etc.)

The spellcasters of a thousand years past sacrificed hundreds of people on their stone sacrificial altars. The suffering evoked created an indelible bond between the Sadists and the mortals. Now, with the sacrificial rites long since lost, the stone of the bloodsoaked altars is used as the base material for various magical implements, known as “crucifixes.” Passages evoking powerful emotion are carved into the crucifixes in the ancient language, Old Runic, to implore the Sadists to give the martyrs power.

At least One Custom (Marriage, Wedding, etc.)

When a martyr dies, their corpse is riddled with lingering soulful magick. It is seen as desecration by some, but for the crafty witches, the death of a martyr presents the opportunity to create new, organic crucifixes constructed of the dead martyr’s bones. This additional layer of humanity offers a buffer between the corrupting influence of the Sadists and the next spellcaster.

At least One Holiday

The Day of Industrious Fortification. Multiple times a year, ne’er-do-wells are rounded up and placed in the “Cathedrals” located throughout the city. These were actual religious cathedrals, but the city was forced to sell them to the industrialists to pay off its debts. The industrialists repurposed the vaulted grandeur into a confined arena. Seating in the higher alcoves provides the eager audiences with a view into the bloodbath below, as the proclaimed “sacrifices” are forced to battle each other to the death.§ Channels and pipes funnel the blood of the sacrifices out through a series of aqueducts, into the river “capillaries” snaking throughout the city. On the Days of Industrious Fortification, the rivers run red.ꟸ

§This was proposed to welcome acclaim by one leading industrialist, Alister Vaunt— an individual with a thirst for ancient lore that drove him to understanding the base aspects of the blood sacrifices of yore.

ꟸAt least one famous cryptid arose from these occurrences: the Old Man of the River— a bloated figure that stares hollowly out from reflections of the rivers streaked with blood. Casual passersby are in for a shock, when a purposeless glance into the water below reflects not them, but an obese old man mirroring their movements. To go further into the lore, the Old Man of the River was one of the leaders of the sacrifices a thousand years ago. His acolytes— crazed and bloodthirsty— one day chose to pin him down on an altar positioned over a spring, and sacrifice him. His blood ran down the altar, into the bubbling font.

Any Beliefs or Morals held by the people. (At least 3)

1. The Taboo of Erosion. Stone naturally erodes, and thus it is superbly disallowed to carve new runic Passages into existing crucifixes. The resource of bloodstained altars is nonrenewable; it must be preserved. 

2. The Taboo of Masochism. It is taboo to carve runic Passages into organic material— living and dead. There is no “marrow” to filter the corrupting influence of the Sadists; living masochists often become possessed by a mindless drive to inflict suffering upon others. 

3. The Taboo of Corruption. While a distinct sect of cultists to the Sadists do this, it is generally taboo to present new martyr initiates with crucifixes devoid of “marrow.” This is— similar to the Taboo of Masochism— to prevent the corrupting influence of the Sadists upon unsuspecting new initiates. 

Description of Education and Worship 

There are two aspects to this. 1) The education and worship of those of the Common Faith. 2) The education and worship of martyrs.

1) The Common Faith raises its acolytes from birth, overseeing naming rituals, bonding rituals, and rites of passage. The Faith finds itself no longer in grand cathedrals, but in humble temples erected throughout Ettingrad. The clergy promotes love for the collective— for the people— and selflessness above all. This often took place in the form of group mind-melding— a form of collective meditation, directed to further a sense of oneness. In the time of the Great War, even cynics flocked to the temples to seek guidance. What they did not realize, though, was that it was collectivism that caused the atrocities of war. 

2) The Martyrs are— and were— scholars by trade. Traditionally, martyrdom and the process of bloodletting is not passed down by familial lines. High ranking scholars and professors in the universities of Ettingrad single out promising writers and artists— as well as linguists— and guide them through an exceptionally limited trial casting. It is never enough for the candidate to extrapolate and fill their gaps in understanding; they would never be able to deduce the intricacies of bloodletting by these trials. If the trial goes successfully, and the candidate resists the corruption of the Sadists capably, the elder moves forward to induct the new initiate into the myriad ranks of martyrs. 

Martyrdom is diverse and varied in its practices. There are conservative casters, using ancient crucifixes pre-written with Passages. There are reckless cultists, imposing their chaotic wills upon unsuspecting newlings. And, among others, there are witches, isolated crafters and innovators, hoping to preserve the bonds of humanity within martyrdom. 

Conservatives do not worship the Sadists. They study them, and they study great literature of the past, to better understand and empathize with pre-written Passages.

Cultists do worship the Sadists. They perform ill-founded rituals, attempting to recreate sacrifices of yore. They educate initiates through séances, opening their unshielded minds to the eldritch influence of their dark patrons. 

Witches are agnostic, and actually have many similar values with those of the Common Faith. They cherish community— though they are excluded from it— and aim to preserve human bonds above all. Their practices are secretive, and witches do not easily trust newcomers with their knowledge. They do take pity upon those who have tried to do what they do— innovate bloodletting and protect martyrs— and in those rare and tragic circumstances, can be swayed to allow a witchling into their ranks.

T. 10/8/2024

(5.5 hours)

I researched ten folklore creatures for the assault scenario. I’ve included the list below, compiled from watching this video. 

1. A-Senee-Ki-Wakw: a race of stone giants from Abenaki folklore; made of stones

2. Onocentaur: a bipedal centaur with its only two legs being donkey legs

3. Kee-Wakw: a giant part-human, part-animal cannibalistic forest dwelling creature; horns of a deer; covered in shaggy fur

4. Fish Man: an entity of Spanish folklore that looks pretty much just as expected

5. Bannik: a Slavic guardian spirit of bathhouses; he appears as a small, naked, long-bearded old man; he is covered in birch leaves (left over from bath brooms); he pours boiling water on intruders— or strangles them.

6. Psoglav: a Balkan mythological creature, described as having a human body with horse legs, a dog's head with iron teeth, and a single eye on the forehead; man eating— even going as far as digging up bodies to eat

7. Indus Worm: a giant, white, carnivorous worm, with a pair of large teeth; lived in the Indus River

8. Scorpion Man: a race of creatures similar in structure to the centaur— but swap horse parts for scorpion parts

9. Oozlum Bird: a spiritual bird that, when startled, flies around in decreasing circles, until it flies up its own backside— disappearing completely

10. Fachan: in Scottish folklore, described as having a single eye in the middle of its face, a single hand protruding from its chest instead of arms, and a single leg emerging from its central axis; it uses an iron spiked club to chase away anything that comes near it; it hates life, and will destroy entire farms in a single day

This took about 20 minutes.

One of my goals for this sprint is defining ten folklore creatures for the assault scenario, so this is good! I specifically chose a variety of creatures that won’t necessarily upstage Nøkken. I want the creatures to be recognizable, but not too easily.

Idea! Bena has a well or perhaps a large bath in her hovel— the Fish Man erupts from the water.

Later.

I was just working on the Spooky Horsey House map whitebox for like three hours— saving consistently— but it crashed again and the file upon reopening had none of the progress that I made. I feel really bad saying this, but I doubt Adam reads this blog— I’ve realized that I hate modeling. Like sculpting? Yeah, love it. But this recreating blocky shapes— first off from a map that I did not make the final version of— is arduous, challenging, and makes me want to slam my skull through the desk. And then it crashes, and removes all of the meager progress I’ve made. 

A main challenge is that this 3D visualization necessary to take this tiny map and make it a big 3D one— it’s not something that’s coming easily to me. I have to fly back to the foyer and view the entire map from that perspective— then fly over to where I’m building the next room, build it wrong because I lost that perspective, and have to rebuild over and over again.

I asked in the project Discord whether it’s possible to import the 2D map as a reference into the whiteboxing level— blow it up, and put it on the ground plane. That would help so much!

Even later.

I remember this scene from the first Fablehaven book where fairy tale creatures are assaulting the attic where the main characters sleep. I think that scene is a big inspiration for the hovel assault scenario. So, I got the book on my Kindle, and started rereading it. I hadn’t read it since I was a kid; I was surprised by how not-low the reading level it is. Like, it’s definitely a YA book, but it’s still pretty good. It holds up. (2 hours).

W. 10/9/2024

(2 hours)

I went to bed last night at like 2am (I was reading Fablehaven), and I woke up at 6:45am. 

During Studio, I worked on filling out the asset list, and finding references for each to put on the Miro. Adam said that he’s going to do the whiteboxing. I am eternally grateful.

Later.

I just spent an hour and a half trying to ZSphere my MC, Alice. I figured something out— but overall it was a frustrating waste of time; nothing to show. The thing I figured out is that I can change the mirror center through Transform —> Set Pivot Point. So even if the mesh isn’t in the center, I can make it the center, and do Mirror X Axis. 

The reason why it was a frustrating waste of time was that the spheres kept moving out of alignment— so I would have to re-align each of them; I also had to restart three or four times because something happened that I still don’t fully understand— but it messed up the mesh so badly that restarting was the only option. I really hate modeling. Once I get to the sculpting, I’m golden. But getting to that point is really quite awful. I would continue working on it, but it’s late, and I still have to do my Ultimate Self Confidence Mindvalley quest lesson for the day. I intend on getting up early— not as early as today— and working on my projects tomorrow with a clear head.

Loving. Judgment.

People say that true love is non-judgmental. I disagree. Love is not blindness. And I know that I have not loved much or many, but I have loved what can be loved: autotelicity. 

The act is the ends.

When you love someone or something without judgment, that is not love. That is mindlessness. That is the fear of the mob, staggering drunkenly in the darkness, reaching out— latching onto whatever moves. We cannot love what we cannot understand— not truly.

To love is to understand. 

To love is to judge.

Because judgment is not authoritarian. It does not have to be. But people— people so afraid of true thought— individual thought— people cannot fathom what they cannot fathom. And so, they don’t. 

Judgment is, in essence, hypocritical. We extoll “good judgment,” and we vilify “judgment.” It is cruel when the judge sentences a criminal to death. It is wise to not drink and drive. 

That is not the fault of judgment, itself. Judgment is not, in essence, hypocritical. We are.

We fear the free thinker. To be selfish is to— we think— not embrace the world and its peoples. To be selfless is to welcome all into our arms. 

But is that selflessness? To distance ourselves from the individual truths? 

It is languorous to love “the world.” That does not require effort, or bravery. It does not warrant the individual person. And we are individuals. Yes, we share some core values— dependent on the cultures of our raising. But to love is to understand. 

To be truly selfish is to put effort into understanding. And in that understanding, we grow closer to the subject. And that facilitates loving. 

To be selfish is to value the Self. 

It is the only way to be truly selfless. To value individualism.

How can we love a nameless entity?

I took an acting class in undergraduate study. The professor proclaimed “Do not judge your roles!” 

I took issue with that proclamation. I understood that Bill Starbuck was flawed. I read into his character. But in doing so, I empathized with him. And I played the role better. 

Judgment is not vice. Judgment is empathy. And empathy is the prerequisite for love.

Loving. Judgment. 

Blog Post #4: A New Angle

Th. 9/26/2024

(1 hour)

I started researching 2D animation in Blender. So far, I feel like I’ve wasted my time. I watched 46 of the 50 minutes of this video. I learned a bit about the navigation within 2D animation in Blender, but all he covered was frame-by-frame hand-drawn animation— which I still believe is not how modern animators do it. (I hope that I’m not wrong.)

I started this 3D animation tutorial series. It is using Blender, as well.

Sa. 9/28/2024

(2.5 hours)

I watched this video, Character Animation for impatient people, and got some good tips:

• Go to graph editor, select some points, and press Alt O (oh) to smooth movements.

• To save poses, select bones, press F3— search “Create Pose Asset”.

• “Pose to Pose” principle: focus on animating big, recognizable movements first, then go in after and add the smaller movements.

It also went over just general animation principles— not just for characters— indicating that I was partially right and wrong; animation still uses keyframes, but you can blend between poses, instead of literally having to create a new image for each frame.

This video (Ultimate Animation Workflow for Beginners) presents some steps to follow.

1. Golden Poses and Anticipation: “Golden poses” are the main beats; if the character is turning from the left to the right, the golden poses are the frames when he’s facing the left, and facing the right. More complex movements have more golden poses involved.

2. Breakdown #1: “Breakdowns” are the poses between golden poses.

1. Speed of movements is based on the number of frames on which each pose is held. Typically 2 frames, 3 frames, or 4 frames. Cartoony animations are snappier, and have fewer breakdowns.

2. Leading: Certain body parts lead specific movements.

3. Arcs: Blender will transition between poses in a straight line, but realistically, characters move more in arcs.

3. Breakdown #2

1. Some body part (not the previous leading part) trails behind. *Side note: he talks about the arc movements (versus linear movements), but he doesn’t really say how to change from linear to arc. I’ve rewatched the video, but he really doesn’t. Something that I’ll need to research externally.

4. Mid-Point Pose: between Breakdown #1 and #2

1. Lead and drag continuation

2. Arcs

5. Ease In + Ease Out

1. Spacing: the art of inbetweening Timing Charts

1. Progressive (not linear): the more you get away from a specific pose, the timing gaps are bigger; the closer you get to the next pose, the gaps are narrower.

6. The Moving Hold: a slight drift while holding a pose (not completely static)

FFXVI (about an hour)

I unlocked this feature that lets me charge up a fiery sword strike. It’s interesting— this concept of delayed gratification. You could easily go just mashing X over and over, but variety is the spice of life, so a good game developer will account for customizable options that are worth it. 

I’ve had an idea for Pareidolia: Unbound rattling around within my skull for a couple weeks. After being freed from the Hanging Grove, after meeting the Pumpkin King and learning alla prima, you follow Mason’s keen serpentine senses to a hovel belonging to the witch, Bena. (I still think this is manageable for the vertical slice, but what do I know.) My idea is the focus for the demo, where you meet the witch, who is baking a baby in an oven and proofing her hovel against intruders. The idea is that you have to defend the hovel with her when night falls against a horde of varied enemies, finishing with a giant troll (need to pick a suitable fairy tale creature) tearing off the roof. You fight off the enemies, and rush through the abode pouring salt over window sills and such. The weaker enemies equate to an increase in Inspiration [Points] (with their slaying), which you then use against the troll to dis-integrate it.

Su. 9/29/2024

(3.5 hours)

I started this tutorial series on 3D animation in Blender. I’m about half an hour in at this point. I started at the very beginning, even though I have a little bit of experience in Blender from that community college course I took a couple years ago— I figured there’d be a lot of overlap, but that I might still learn some stuff. So far, it’s mostly navigation instructions, but the instructor went over menus specifically geared towards animation that I’d never used before. 

I’m thinking that I want to try and record myself doing the motions of a few evasion and attack animations for Pareidolia: Unbound. I’m thinking about doing that tomorrow, then working on transferring it via free mocap software into a digital animation. I want to have something to show— something that I’ve created— for my Sprint this week. I am hesitant to not make something indicative of my learnings, for fear of it not appearing as though I’ve progressed along this path.

Oh that reminds me! I need to update my Milestones.

I just worked on the GDD for about an hour. I revised the characters to be seen, as well as the premise, and started on writing a prose script of the vertical slice. Basically, I had this idea— shown above— of defending this witch’s abode from an onslaught of fairy Folk, finishing with a troll tearing the roof off, and biting Bena, the witch, in half. I defined the troll— from Norwegian folklore, there is a shapeshifting troll that transforms into a white horse and carries unsuspecting travelers to their watery deaths, His name is Nøkken. (Nøkken becomes an ally of Alice after being defeated, and grants the Boon of Passage— he will transform into his white horse form and carry Alice long distances— either three or seven times.)

---

Opening Cinematic

A grove of apple trees growing wild in the ruins of a courtyard. We see close-up shots of branches creaking in the wind, and apples swaying from their stems. A gust rushes through the ruins, and we watch an apple blown off its branch, thudding into the overgrown cobbles, before rolling to a stop. We watch it for a moment or two, sitting static, then a snake slithers into view by it. The snake is made of red stone, and is segmented. The end of its tail— the last eight inches or so— is stiff and immobile. Faded runes are carved along the snake’s length. We watch it from close-up as it slithers to the base of an apple tree, and starts winding up the trunk. 

As soon as the branches come into view, there’s a flash of lightning, flaring across the screen, before disappearing, and leaving the courtyard— which had been lit by daylight— in the dark of night. And as soon as that change occurs, hanging figures appear strung up from the branches of the trees. Coarse ropes bind their wrists, from which they are hanging. Each figure is unmoving, except for the movement of the trees, and each has a coarse sack over their heads. 

The snake slithers along the branches, and, with a decisive movement, slices the bonds suspending one figure. He crashes to the overgrown cobbles, limp as a ragdoll. From a distant shot, we see the scene as the figure stands shakily up, and removes the sack from his head. 

We see a lanky, almost emaciated human man, wearing WWI-era breeches; his right arm is encased in a red stone sheath of sorts, carved into shapes reminiscent of gothic churches. He is shirtless, except for a leather harness over his chest, embossed with a large brass “A”. 

Gameplay Commences

Alice is walking through the swemp, ducking under branches and vines, swatting away bloodsucking pixies. He is adorned the same as in the opening cinematic, with one change. He has a brilliant red scarf that leads seamlessly into a loose red hood. The snake, who must have been introduced to the MC, as he is calling it by a name— Masinry— is speaking, coiling through the air surrounding Alice’s stone right arm.

“Follow that scent! Smells delectable... you must be famished, ain’t ya— who knows how long you were hangin’ there.”

Visible scent distortions guide the pair to a three-story ramshackle hovel. It has stained glass lanterns— most cracked— hanging from numerous hooks around it, and nailed to the ironbound door is a goat skull and, below it, a dead serpent coiled in an “S”. 

“Go on! Knock— I don’t got hands!”

Alice steps hesitantly up the steps to the door. As he passes the edge of the porch, a careless step brushes through a line of salt, which— when he looks down— appears to have been circling the abode. 

“Don’t mind that— if ya ain’t famished, I certainly am!”

Alice knocks on the door, causing it to creak, and the dead snake wags limply.

From inside, a voice screeches in surprise, followed by the sound of heavy boots thumping on weak floorboards towards the door. There’s the sound of multiple deadbolts being drawn back, then a creeeak, as the door swings open. Standing in the doorway is a striking old woman.

She is bent with age, and must’ve been tall in youth— but now her stature is diminished. Her skin is wrinkled, with faint brown symbols seemingly tattooed onto all of it. She is wearing a leather apron covered in flour, along with a dirty gray shawl— from which are protruding two goat horns. She is wearing a blindfold stained with some black fluid— as if her empty eye sockets are oozing ink, instead of blood. She is wearing heavy, iron-shod boots, and has numerous iron bracelets encircling her bony arms. Where the metal touches her skin are raised burn marks; they do not appear to be fresh.

---

I really want this slice to feel cinematic, and I think I got a potent description of the shots to be animated.  

I defined why the abode is being assaulted. Rook is the curse-child of Briar Rose and the prince— who was stolen by the 13th Fairy, Pestis, who cursed Briar Rose. Rook became a child of the Court of Whim, until he was stolen by Bena, to be baked into a loaf of bread, to be eaten, to restore her sight. So, the Court of Whim is assaulting the hovel to bring him back.

I think we’ll end the vertical slice with the upgrade HUD appearing, as Rook tattoos the tale of what just happened onto Alice’s exposed skin. As he tattoos, the player can upgrade certain attributes of the MC. I’m picturing it as the tattoo scene happening on the right side of the screen, and the stat upgrade HUD on the left. 

I’m going to watch more animation tutorials, but I just had an idea! In the living room of Bena’s hovel are a number of story books. One is open, and has pages wrinkled and stained with inky fingerprints. The illumination depicts someone who looks just like Alice currently does, with a red snake twirling above his head. The passage legible describes the “hero’s tragic and impotent struggle against the bonds of mortality.”

---

“I” inserts keyframe menu.

After designing a new keyframe, press “I” to make it official, choosing rotation, location, and/or scale.

Auto-keyframing removes this necessity.

“G” moves keyframes, too.

Clicking the stopwatch icon by the keyframe start/end notation makes it possible to edit only select parts of the timeline.

(Another 20 minutes watching 3D animation tutorials.)

---

I just played FFXVI for another hour. It’s odd, because I typically haven’t really liked playing video games before— but I am enjoying this one. I started playing more games because that’s one part of my education; I didn’t expect to actually enjoy it. And I haven’t enjoyed every game that I’ve played recently. For Honor has a pretty droll campaign. (I know it’s more of a multiplayer game, but still.) It’s also interesting how much I’ve turned to liking 3rd person action games. Not entirely surprising— most of my gaming as a child was on the Wii, and that was primarily 3rd person. But I do know that I should play outside of this genre. In the near future, I’d like to play a more casual game, and a sidescroller. For the casual game, there’s this Early Access witch apprentice game, Reka, that looks intriguing. It seems like Hogwarts Legacy, but less grand and no combat. For the sidescroller, I’ve been interested in The Last Faith for a long time. It’s like a sidescrolling Bloodborne. One of my favorite games as a child was actually on my Blackberry phone— it was a sidescrolling Batman game. The Last Faith seems much more complex than that. Maybe it’ll ease me into soulslikes.

M. 9/30/2024

(2.5 hours)

I worked on the worldbuilding/plot of the vertical slice more today. I’m using the worldbuilding project for my Literary Development of Virtual Worlds course as an opportunity to build upon this project. This week, the assignment is culture. It’s a tough assignment— for my project, specifically. In the Epilogue, there are humans, and there are Folk (fairy tale creatures). Fairy tales are, obviously, super varied, and they don’t have a unified culture. So I’m choosing to focus on key characters present in the vertical slice. I have to have four sets of attire for the assignment, so I’m doing four characters: Bena the witch, Masinry the stone snake whip, Rook the binder faerie curse-child, and Nøkken the Norwegian troll. 

---

I need to redefine my remaining milestones. Let’s do that now. I’ll write them here, as well as making new physical notes taped to the wall above my desk.

Milestone #2: October 2nd, 2024

What it was: Continue learning Unreal Engine; start filling in GDD for the end project.

What it now is: Continue filling in GDD; make character profiles for key characters; start learning animation. 

Milestone #3: October 16th, 2024

What it was: Start working on the greybox prototype; continue completing GDD.

What it now is: Start work on art bible; model MC body + prosthetic stone arm; record mocap (even jank self-done) for an evasion move, whip swing, and idle close-up; make a list of ten fairy tale creatures for the assault scenario.

Milestone #4: October 30th, 2024

What it was: Continue work on the greybox prototype; start work on developing the alla prima mechanic.

What it now is: Continue work on art bible; learn Marvelous Designer + model MC’s clothing; animate the three mocap movements; find references for the Hovel abode.

Milestone #5: November 13th, 2024

What it was: Finish GDD (including base script for vertical slice); finish basic development of the alla prima mechanic; finish the greybox prototype.

What it now is: Write script for vertical slice; map out the three floors and basement of the Hovel; focus art bible work on key characters to be seen; make another list of ten fairy tale creatures for the assault (total twenty).

—

I really want to focus on learning animation— especially based on video references/mocap— as well as focus on character modeling. I’m going to stick to just modeling the MC— because I don’t think I’ll have time to do more, and because his design has organic, cloth, and artificial materials— so I think learning to do all of that will be beneficial for future character designs. 

Short pitch.

For the rest of the semester, I will be developing the plot and characters, art bible, and MC character model and animation for the vertical slice of Pareidolia: Unbound— the studio project that I will lead next year.

—

*One small thing. I know how to rig joints, but I don’t know how to rig facial features. I think I could get by without doing that this semester, but I would like to animate an idle animation— and having some facial expression change would really bring something extra to that. 

—

I’m going to go to Amanda’s office hours again tomorrow, and show her these updated milestones. I’ll make any suggested changes, then make the physical notes to put over my desk.

---

From the culture assignment.

Fictional Race: The Folk

The Folk are the race of fairy tale creatures inhabiting the Epilogue of Ettingrad. They live in the Outer Circle— commonly known as the Wyrdwoods. They are composed of all of humanity’s [public domain] fairy tale creatures. As such, they are as varied as is possible. There are Folk of similar origins— even the same origins, such as the pixies— resulting in multiples of the same kind of Folk, but mostly, the Folk are a race of wildly different individuals. 

As such, defining a central culture for them is challenging. I will define a number of cultures of various individuals and “Courts” (localized governed societies). I will do so for a varied group of individuals of differing social standings. 

I will start with Folk directly related to the project— as in, Folk that will appear in the game that I will run next year.

Bena the Witch.

An outcast of the Court of Whim.

She is bent with age, and must’ve been tall in youth— but now her stature is diminished. Her skin is wrinkled, with faint brown symbols seemingly tattooed onto all of it. She is wearing a leather apron covered in flour, along with a dirty gray shawl— from which are protruding two goat horns. She is wearing a blindfold stained with some black fluid— as if her empty eye sockets are oozing ink, instead of blood. She is wearing heavy, iron-shod boots, and has numerous iron bracelets encircling her bony arms. Where the metal touches her skin are raised burn marks; they do not appear to be fresh. 

Attire. A cloth-sack dress of indeterminate color; a dirty gray shawl; iron jewelry; a stained blindfold. She was outcast from her court, the Court of Whim, for devouring fellow members, to gain their power. As an outcast, she has limited access to materials and resources; most of her possessions are ancient, broken, or patinated. She was outcast with only a sack of potatoes; she must’ve repurposed it into clothing. Her iron jewelry is both a curse and protection. A curse, because she still is faerie, and iron burns her skin on contact. Protection, because her enemies are mostly also faerie, and therefore she is warded against them. She must have acquired it from non-faerie Folk or humans. Her blindfold obscures her empty eye sockets. They are empty and dripping ink as a withdrawal symptom of not having consistent access to Folk to feast upon. Folk are made up of literature, so she is a representation of ruined literature.

Gender. Folk can come in any gender imaginable... to folktale writers within the public domain. So that limits it. Bena is a witch. Witches, in this setting, are all female.

Relationships. 

Love. When she was an accredited member of the Court of Whim, she had many a romantic tryst with powerful Folk. The most notable was with the legendary wizard Merl. As a witch, she was incapable of bearing children— except curse-children— children born of individuals she cursed. Perhaps that is why she sought out Rook— the curse-child of Briar Rose. Not her curse-child, but a curse-child still. 

Young. Bena had a carnivorous attitude towards the youths. As her infamy grew, parents and wardens of the Folk’s youths warned their offspring to avoid her neck of the Wyrdwoods. She did have an apprentice— a “witchling” named Maro. I encountered Maro after leaving the ruins of the hovel. She had been bringing jugs of Ether back from Bruise Lake. She did not seem that distressed when I informed her of her patron’s demise.

Outsiders. Bena seemed hospitable towards me when I appeared on her doorstep. Perhaps it was a guise, masking latent underlying cannibalistic tendencies; perhaps she meant to set me at ease. But, despite her harrowing appearance, she was a fine host... at least, until the attack. She seemed cut off from her people— which she was— and more welcoming of outsiders than her own kin. 

Education. Her hovel was full of books. While she only had one apprentice at the time, she seemed as if— at one point in the past— she was capable of educating a full school. Of course, when I was there (before the attack), most of the books’ pages were wrinkled and ink stained. She couldn’t see, see? She did seem intent on keeping me from her literary resources. It must’ve been the taboo against teaching men. Most of the books— as well as the faded brown ink on all of her exposed skin— were written in some kind of Romance language. 

Masinry the Snake.

A crucifix of Sadism.

He is a segmented red stone snake. He instructed me to wield him by the end of his tail, which is not segmented. Along his length are engraved fine details— passages of words in a runic language, as well as illuminations— images of the scenes told, supposedly. 

Attire. As a crucifix (whatever that means), he is composed of stone, and as a snake, he is incapable of wearing clothing. He did mention that others of his kind come in other forms— some humanoid, and therefore, capable of wearing clothes. He said that they tend to wear shades of red— uniformity with the color of the stone. Speaking of, my right arm is red stone. Am I a crucifix?

Gender. I refer to him as male, but he is stone. He said that crucifix creation is a dead art; no more are being made. And they must be made. I’m not sure whether he chose his name, or if it was placed upon him by someone else, but it seems a bit pointed. 

Relationships. 

Family. Well, not a biological family. More of a found family. He first guided me to the grotto of Obe, the King of Vines. That sentient jack o’ lantern seemed to have earned Masinry’s trust. The snake seemed quite content and loyal in the grotto. And it was Obe who instructed me in how to wield the snake as a conduit of the art known as alla prima. Masinry also seemed to know quite a few of the rocks and boulders that we passed. He called out to them. They did not call back.

Old. In the Hanging Grove, there was a red stone altar near the back of the overgrown courtyard. Masinry was intent on leading me to it. There were words— runes— engraved upon its surface— but they had faded, eroded, and crumbled. Will that happen to him, some day?

Outsiders. He didn’t seem off put by my presence— and I certainly am the oddest of strangers. I don’t know how long he had been slithering through the Wyrdwoods, but he seems capable and confident. We were attacked, several times, but he always told me the best way to deal with the various hostile creatures. He kept referring to me as the “Chosen.” I am certain that I do not know what he means.

Language. Upon hesitant questioning, Masinry disclosed that the language engraved along his stone length was known as “Old Runic.” It was the precursor to the Common-Tongue— which is what we’re speaking, and what I’m writing this in. He was uncharacteristically quiet when I inquired further. “Look I don’t know much,” he admitted. “But they’ve been there for as long as I’ve been, ya know, cognizant.” I found a book in Bena’s hovel— before the assault— in the same language. Masinry was able to translate some of it for me. It was about a coven— an “Unholy Trinity”— of witches who dealt with stone dust from “The Age of Sacrifice.” What that was about, I am uncertain; we were attacked by a drop bear shortly after beginning translation. But Old Runic is a runic alphabet, based phonetically, and it shares many similarities with the Common-Tongue— just more archaic. I wonder who engraved the runes along the snake, wrote the book, and crafted my arm.

Rook the Binder Faerie.

A curse-child.

Rook is the curse-child that we recovered from Bena’s oven. He is the size of a young toddler, with an infant’s body, the head of a crow, and crow wings for arms, ending in simeon hands. When we retrieved him, he was wrapped in iron chains. Nøkken, as well as the other Court of Whim denizens, couldn’t touch him. It was my task to unbind him. It did not lift Bena’s iron-curse, though. So, I was instructed to take him with me. 

Attire. Rook is naked, except for a white loincloth.

Gender. Faeries have a unique relationship with gender. They can change their own at will, but most maintain a “mask”— their current preferred form— for the most part. Rook is currently male, and is branded with a Taboo of Age— keeping him a child.

Relationships.

Family. Rook had been raised as the son of Briar Rose, but he recounts that time almost as if it were a dream. When he was stolen away by the 13th Faerie, that is when he remembers waking up from that previous delirium. His new mother, the faerie known as Pestis, raised him as a lordling in the Court of Whim. He was eager to return to her, but the iron-curse would not allow him to be carried by the present Folk, and his feeble form would not survive the trek back alone. In the Court, he apparently had many “siblings.” That court (I am uncertain as to whether it is the same in all courts) is as a giant family, all living together within the verdant walls, bound by shared experiences.

Race. As a curse-child, Rook is part human? Unsure. Briar Rose lives in this Epilogue— and she is one of the Folk, but is in human form. She may not be truthfully human. Either Rook is insecure about this mixed blood, or is so at ease with it as to account for his cavalier attitude about it. He regularly screeches jokes about it— frequently screaming, “I’m an abomination!” or “What am I? No idea, kid!”

Gender. Faerie, as I have stated, can alter their gender at will. Rook does not do this. There’s no Taboo on him restricting his shapeshifting— at least where it concerns gender— but he retains his tiny, chubby male body. I am uncertain if I could tactfully ask about this. He doesn’t joke about it— which could mean anything, truly— but perhaps the constant flux and change around him inspired him to keep a static form; stability from within. 

Art. Shortly after retrieving him from Bena’s oven, Rook manifested a thread, needle, and pot of ink— asking if I would like a tattoo. It seemed rude to refuse, and I have ample visible skin, so I allowed it. He was not gentle. I bled, but it was a gaudy orange liquid mixing with the black ink. His work was skillful, though. As he toiled, I recounted how I came to find him. As I spoke, he transcribed the tale on my skin in elaborate script and bold images.

Nøkken.

A giant.

Nøkken is a giant, thirty feet tall. I saw him for the first time as he was ripping the roof off of the hovel, grabbing Bena around the middle, and biting her in half. He was humanoid in shape, but had equine ears and short white fur covering his body. His white hair flowed as a mane from his low forehead down his back. Instead of feet, he had hooves. He had tusks protruding from his thin-lipped mouth, and icy green eyes— like a lake in winter. 

Attire. Nøkken wore a giant suit of black enamel plate armor. From it, from hooks pierced through— cracking some of the enamel— dangled thick coppery-green chains. Upon close inspection of his corpse, I noticed that the chains— caked with algae— nonetheless were clearly engraved with hundreds and hundreds of names. At the joint of where his left armored arm met the shoulder, there was a red stone disk engraved with the face of a screaming demon. Masinry instructed me to take it. It is just big enough to serve as a shield. 

Gender. Nøkken was a giant. Specifically, he was a faerie giant. Upon his defeat I used the snake to slice off the end of one of his tusks. It was hollow inside, and was easily converted into a horn. After leaving the ruins of the Hovel, after encountering Maro on her way back, we came across an impassable ravine. The snake instructed me to blow the horn. Immediately, I felt the rush of a thousand winds at my back; I heard the whinnying of a horse; I was carried over the gorge, accompanied by the sounds of cracking hoofbeats. Nøkken was a shapeshifter. Even for faeries, true shapeshifters are uncommon. It seems that the giant had the power to transform into a horse, and I gained the ability to summon him when the path proves impassable. He appeared male, and Rook referred to him as such, but his chimaeric nature offers an interesting question. If he could shapechange into a horse, was his shapeshifting limited to that? Was he like most faeries— fluid in biology? Could he have changed his sex? I almost regret slaying him. However, he was trying to eat me.

Relationships. 

Family. Like Rook, Nøkken was of the Court of Whim. He had a similar family situation— a found family. Rook told us over the crackling of a bonfire many nights after that Nøkken had had a giant family ages ago, but that they had all been slaughtered by human raiders. I have learned during my growing days in this realm that giants are more than brutes; they are powerful mages. Folk magic is a treasured secret, and even more so for giants. Folk magic can be taught; it can also be restricted. Giant families are, therefore, strict and clinical in nature.

Old. There exists a world of spirits in the Epilogue. They are Folk, yes, but differ in their interactions with the material plane. During a séance held in the Mycomancer Lair, I offered condolences to Nøkken’s spirit. He didn’t answer, but a handful of looming pillars of smoke and shadow pressed in on me. I froze, but the sound of sibilant voices carried on the wind. As the smoke was blown away, I was left with the message, “He’s with his family now.” 

Outsiders. Rook disclosed to me that Nøkken had the unfortunate tendency to lure travelers onto his equine back, and carry them to their deaths in the watery depths. So, obviously not a fan of outsiders. Learning of his family’s deaths, I sympathize with him, to an extent. 

Education. From what I have pieced together from literal scraps of literature scrounged, looted, and conjured along my travels here, giant kind has a strict academic culture. Typically inhabiting caves and tunnels carved into the litterae terrae— to ward off the sense of towering over the trees— giantlings were brought up learning a special amalgamation of Folk and human knowledge. They were taught survival skills, court etiquette, and morals— but also sciences, arts, and critical thinking skills. Giants have short lives— usually less than 70 years— and remain with their cloistered families, devouring (sometimes literally) information. I’ve only come across one hand-scrawled account of it occurring, but when great injustice is brought into the world, giant kind will rise from their self-imposed isolation, weighing in with their potent magicks to sway the tides. 

---

Later.

I played The Last Faith for half an hour. I chose the Stargazer class (the mage), and had a tough time. I could not beat the first boss, and my low wizard health did not help. It is a sidescroller— a Metroidvania— and I know— despite my tough time— that it was a good idea to start playing it, because now I’m picturing Pareidolia: Unbound simultaneously as a 3rd person 3D game and as a sidescroller. It also brings questions to my mind— such as how did they animate the characters— especially the MC? He has dynamic shadows cast from his complex combat animations— it makes me wonder if they really modeled him in 3D, and just made it look two-dimensional.

—

It’s almost tomorrow. Tomorrow, I will do the following tasks to further this seminar project. My Milestone #2 is the following day, and I’ve 1) started learning how to animate, in both 2D and 3D, and 2) done quite a bit in expanding my GDD. So, to fulfill my prospective Milestone qualifications, I just need to flesh out the main characters more. I did quite a bit for my worldbuilding project— pasted above earlier today— in writing about them; I think I just want to do some really basic sketches of them— just one each?

Of course, I will also be going to Amanda’s office hours to go over my new prospective Milestones. So that might change things. I have a lot to do tomorrow; tomorrow is a big day. I am going to journal, meditate, then go to bed. I will be getting up at 7am, per usual.

T. 10/1/2024

(1.75 hours)

I did not go to Office Hours, tragically. I slept until 3pm— which doesn’t feel great.

I just spent the past hour and a half doing these little sketches of the four NPC MCs.

I tried to do four different styles— mostly just to amuse myself. Left-to-right, we have: Bena the witch; Masinry the crucifix; Rook the curse-child; Nøkken the troll.

I sent my updated prospective Milestones to Amanda— but that was past 5pm when I did, so I’m not expecting a response until tomorrow— which is my Sprint #2.

And then compiling this into a blog post.

---

I don’t intend on sleeping tonight. I still need to do my slides for my Seminar presentation tomorrow, as well as the slides for Studio sprint (tomorrow, as well). Before I do my slides for Studio, I need to make more progress in whiteboxing the library. I’m planning/hoping to complete the whiteboxing for the entire first section.

I bought snacks to bring to Studio tomorrow: almonds (that were on the clearance shelf), trail mix (with cranberries and dark chocolate), more lemon zest Luna Bars, a blueberry muffin-flavored Larabar, and I have pineapple juice to bring, as well.

Hopefully I’m not making a mistake by not sleeping. We shall see!

I had an idea about reframing my sleeping dysfunction. I mean, obviously, it started with depression— which sucks and couldn’t have really been avoided. But now, I’m doing much better. And I’ve noticed that when I sleep so late, I wake up multiple times and fall back asleep— even after seeing the progressing time. I seem to have this mindset that the more I sleep, the more I just admit defeat— causing me to sleep more. Maybe it would be beneficial to reframe this into not “sleeping as much as doesn’t directly negatively impact me in an irreversible way,” to instead

“I sleep just as much as is necessary— no more (and sometimes less).”

Because sleep is not simply about hours. It’s about cycles. I can sleep three hours and do better the following day than if I slept seven hours. The completion of REM cycles— and at what point in a given cycle that I wake up— matters more than just time elapsed.

I’m going to look into this in the following ways: 1) I’m going to check on Mindvalley (because I still have a subscription until February) and see if there’s a quest on sleep; 2) I’m going to look on Spotify and YouTube for sleep health guided meditations (and possibly hypnoses?); 3) If I cannot find something like either of those, I’m going to write a script and record myself reading it in my most inspirational, resonant voice— add some instrumentals/frequencies in the background— and listen to it as a custom guided meditation.

Because I truly do need to fix this.

Blog post #3: Ah No, Not Quite

M. 9/23/2024

(4 hours)

I watched this tutorial on rigging in Blender. I forget who said it during my Sprint presentation— it might have been Amanda— but someone said that to help my workflow and the achievement of my alla prima vision, I should make an animation demo in Blender of what the mechanic should look like— and leave the actual programming to a programmer. So I’m modifying my end milestone (have a functioning alla prima mechanic) to now be: Have a short animation of what alla prima looks like.

I don’t know how to animate. In fact, I know so little about animation that I assume it’s composed of either one of two options: 1) mocap; 2) it’s still that animators draw each individual frame and stick them together Steamboat Willie-style. Rationally, I know that that can’t be the case— because it’s not 1920 anymore. 

So I must learn to animate!

I can think of three aspects to this specific vision that will be necessary to become proficient with:

1. Make the MC as a 3D model, and rig him.

2. Animate the attack pattern.

3. Create the refraction special fx for the weapon trail.

As someone also pointed out, I should still learn a decent amount about blueprints and programming in UE5— so that I can relay basically what this effect will take.

I just found this really short tutorial on adding reference images to ZBrush. I have the front view of the MC, Alice, and the side view of the reference that I used for that drawing. I should be able to model the body (duh) and the gorget in ZBrush; the gothic-church-arm will probably be best done in Blender. For the pants, Marvelous? I know nothing about that, so that should be a side focus, as well— learning it.

I just spent the past two hours making the image below. It took so long because I was trying to save time by symmetrizing it; it literally deleted my work, so I had to start over— and then, I was still trying other methods of symmetry, but I had to keep fiddling with the settings.

Now I’m upset and tired of looking at frustrating models (I spent literally 13 hours yesterday making and remaking the Food assignment for Organic Modeling— similarly, it crashed and deleted my almost finished project, and I had to stay up until 4:30am trying to finish it. I did not.). I can’t wait until I can start sculpting; modeling is frustrating and difficult to me, but sculpting is intuitive and effortless. 

I’m going to drink a bunch of Himalayan pink salt water (for electrolytes while I fast) and play FFXVI— it finished downloading while I toiled.

Later.

I had to clear a bunch of space on my computer, so that I could update my graphics card driver, so that I could play FFXVI. But I got there.

The first hour or so of the game was primarily cutscenes. But I dug it. It really expanded upon the key characters (at least, the current key characters). For Pareidolia: Unbound, I think there should be cinematics like this. So I need a good animator, voice actors (I’ll do a bunch, but not all), mocap, cinematographer. I’m going to Amanda’s office hours tomorrow to discuss the shift in my gameplan for this seminar project— going from a playable demo of the alla prima mechanic, to an animation of it. Still learning basic coding and UE5, but primarily working on that visual demonstration. 

I need some guidance on how to approach this angle.

T. 9/24/2024

Even later.

I gotta be honest. I haven’t done a lot of work for this much this past week. For two reasons.

1. I’ve been struggling in my Organic Modeling class. I spent 13 hours Sunday night trying to finish the assignment due Monday morning, and I still haven’t finished it. Before that, I was experimenting with designing a custom alpha, and— well, that is largely irrelevant; I am not angling my OM assignments towards this project, like I am with my worldbuilding class. (I just finished that assignment that I’m behind on. Well, I sent Ezra pictures of it before I submit it.)

2. I was honestly a bit discouraged by Shivansh’s advice to take some big steps backwards. I know that it’s irrational; by learning basic UE5 stuff, I would be making better progress— instead of what I was doing: following project-specific tutorials and being unable to troubleshoot or create beyond those tutorials. But working directly on aspects of my project— no matter how inefficient— felt like an adventure. It felt driven. Watching five-hour UE5 introductory UE5 tutorials feels like all of the worst parts of traditional education systems— like I’m learning so much that doesn’t directly benefit me. Which is, as I said, irrational. But it’s how I’ve been feeling, and it’s affected my drive to learn-and-create towards this end goal.

Even later (but reflecting on Amanda’s office hours).

I explained my thoughts on the animation alternative for the end goal for this year’s Seminar project. I’m very tired, and am having trouble remembering exactly, but she agreed. Ultimately, though, she asked me a question: Am I more excited right now learning animation (and working on the GDD), or learning Unreal? Because, as she stated, I’ll have to do both. It’s just deciding which I do this semester, and which I do next semester. I said animation.

I suggested animating the MC swinging the whip in 3D, and the environment superimposed beyond that in 2D— including the paint smear. (On a new thought extrapolating beyond that, would I need to animate a resulting 3D environment alteration— and consequently, interacting with it— in 2D or 3D?)

I regret having so little to show this week. I told my Studio lead that I still had to write this post after finishing the OM model— and that I have little to report— and he said to just not do the blog post this week— that it shows more integrity to not write about little progress than to do the opposite. I’m still not sure whether to include that tidbit.

oh also!

I started exercising— pretty much for the first time since I moved here (a little over a month ago). I went to a Ninja Warrior gym nearby! I plan on going multiple times a week. It was very fun, very tiring, and I could barely move my arms after. I feel this is relevant to include, because all of the sitting I’ve been doing for this graduate program definitely needs to be offset with some physical activity. For, as Ezra said, a “healthy work/life balance.”

Blog post #2: Aback

I need to take a few steps back. Let me explain.

I’ve been doing quite a bit of work on my project(s), but not making a lot of progress. It’s been so long since I’ve been an amateur in anything I’ve been involved in, which is an interesting experience for two reasons. 1) It’s good to know that I’m doing something new. 2) I’ve realized that I seem to have forgotten how to learn— at least in how it relates to starting from the very beginning of a learning curve.

I’ve been so enthusiastic about the process; I just want to jump in and start making these games. But I understand so little about digital game design. I’ve been following all of these tutorials on mechanic development for my specific project(s), but since I don’t understand the base theory and logic of digital coding, for example, I can’t troubleshoot the errors that inevitably happen, and I can’t replicate any of the results without the tutorial.

Let’s get into what I’ve done this week.

Th. 9/12/2024

I played Hogwarts Legacy for 1 hour today— to refamiliarize myself with how the spellcasting toggle system works. I want to have something similar in Pareidolia— but instead of spells, directions of attacks— and thus, alla prima.

I did the front angle as a first concept for the MC, Alice. He has a Gothic-style stone right arm, WWI-era breeches and boots, and a harness with an “A” on it— for “Anothen” not “Alice”. (Anothen was the name of the top city of Ettingrad.) It also has a design for Mason, the sentient stone snake whip— including a little brush design at the base.

I did the Resources & Economy assignment for my worldbuilding class; I’m developing the setting for this game in that class. I made ten resources and outlined the economy. I’ll copy that in here.

Folkparts. Biological parts scavenged from fallen Folk. For example, this could be Baba Yaga’s middle finger, Pinocchio’s nose, a snortable amount of pixie dust, or anything else that might function for some dark, occult purposes. Folkparts are most valuable when they come from the bodies of Folk, but artefacts from those creatures are also sought after.

 *Folk are the fairy tale creatures.

Artefacts. These are artificial possessions scavenged from Folk (you don’t need to kill the previous owner in order to acquire them). The gnome prince’s pointiest hat, Cinderella’s crystal slipper, or Robin Hood’s hood are all fine examples of artefacts.

Crucifixes. This literary afterlife (“Epilogue”) of Ettingrad is composed of two themes: fairy tale whimsy and blood magic. I know that I said that Ettingrad is just an altered New York City; that was misspoken. The map was based on 1910 NYC because I wanted a distinct metropolis, but Ettingrad was always just Ettingrad; not New York City. This “city of two heads”— from when the MC was still alive— had dieselpunk weaponry and technology equivalent to WWI-era tech, but the architecture was composed of red stone. That stone was red— as are the ruins overrun by rampant plantlife in the “epilogue” version of the city— due to blood sacrifices made upon stone altars centuries ago. Those sacrifices imbued the stone with supernatural fortitude— among other things. That is why it was chosen as the primary building material of Ettingrad. But those altars were not just used for architecture! No, they were also used to make mystical foci, to channel the power of the dark entities that the blood sacrifices were dedicated to. Those foci— known as “crucifixes”— can be found in both the living Ettingrad and in the Epilogue. They are rare, and incredibly potent. They are necessary for the casting of blood magic. Alice, the main character, comes into the possession of one such crucifix— in the form of a sentient stone snake, segmented as a whip. (That snake is called “Mason”— because it is stonework.) To be used as a spellcasting focus, these stone implements must be engraved with “Passages” of narrative, evoking powerful emotions.

It is taboo to carve new stories into crucifixes; stone naturally erodes, and carving over pre-existing passages hastens that end. 

Litterae Terrae. The ground of Ettingrad’s Epilogue is composed of countless compressed sheets of paper bearing stories. There’s a reason for this. In the living Ettingrad, the most powerful individual in the city was a man named Seymour Snythe, who was an author-turned-publisher. His short stories grew in acclaim, and he used his earned riches to establish Wollumen Printing Press, a publishing company located adjacent to a park that he frequented as a writer, searching for inspiration. Needless to say, the public was starved for escapism, and, along with the recruitment of several rising writers, Wollumen became the most successful business in Ettingrad. 

Snythe innovated the field of writing by creating the first instance of “Animated Literature”— a bound product that wriggled into life as a creature of sentience. That creature— a small child named Rook— was forever bound to Snythe— and, upon Snythe’s death, Rook was de-animated back into a manuscript, and was buried along with him in the park that inspired so much of Snythe’s work. That power— the potent magick of the animated literature— it altered the world— and, during the climax of the Great War, it created the Epilogue, an afterlife of sorts for all creatures, fictional and otherwise. That is why the earth of Epilogue is compressed literature; it was the foundation of the realm.

And now Litterae Terrae is a resource mined by the Folk and used for all kinds of purposes— such as a component in medicinal processes, as kindling used for the creation of Everlasting Fire, and as food (for the least self-respecting Folk, such as Book Mice).

Iron. Iron has long been the bane of the Fair Folk, and thus, the Folk. It only exists in Epilogue in the Frosted Heart, the central ring of frigid ruins and poison gas. Human survivors covet it, and use scavenged iron scraps— repurposing, re-smelting, and reforging it into tools, armor, weapons, and talismans against the Folk.

Ether. In the outer circle of Epilogue, the rivers (based on NYC’s rivers in shape) are not frozen— as they are in the Frosted Heart of the inner circle— and have mutated by the proximity of so many Folk. They are sludgy, starry, lavender-colored morasses. Just as iron is toxic to the Folk, the liquid “Ether” of the Wyrdlands’ rivers is toxic to humans. It can also be used as a healing tonic for the Folk, and is cherished as such. Whenever ether is siphoned from the rivers, the surface does not drop; it stays constant; it merely becomes more viscous. The more viscous the ether becomes, the less effective it becomes as both toxin to humans, and as healing draught to Folk.

Since Epilogue is surrounded by an impassable outer circle, the rivers do not replenish from external sources. As such, the draining of the ether is a climate crisis of sorts for the inhabitants of the Wyrdlands. 

Miasma. The swamp base of the Wyrdlands is constantly bubbling with gas. Some scholars of Epilogue hypothesize that the gas— known as “miasma”— is the same as the toxic gas in the Frosted Heart— but that some chemical processing of the swamp environment purifies and detoxifies it. No one is certain. What is certain, though, is the power of miasma as a propellant. The technology of living Ettingrad is both nebulous and largely irrelevant to this project— but guns did exist there, and— few are certain whether this is true— they may have been purely gas-propelled dart guns, with darts tipped in bio-hazardous poisons. In Epilogue, that is true. Scavenged guns— found either in the Frosted Heart or in the outer Wyrdlands— fire darts, and thus, require a source of gas. While most Folk do not demean themselves to the level of gun-wielders (they think of human technology as farce), they do recognize the miasmous gas of the swamp as a potent propellant for these weapons. As a result, there are cash-strapped Folk who bottle miasma and sell it to humans. 

One early part of Alice’s journey is to travel to the gnomish settlement of Gnome’s Point, to procure a gas mask. Such protection is necessary for any creature to survive the toxic gas of the Frosted Heart— where Alice must go to resolve the conflict of the narrative. These gas masks don’t just filter toxins from the air; they also supply purifying gas to the respiratory systems of the wearer. They function on miasma. 

The toxic gas of the Frosted Heart is not just toxic to humans; if Folk wish to cross the Frosted barrier into the inner city, they also must wear such a gas mask— and, therefore, rely on miasma, as well. 

Ink. Ink in Epilogue is both a technological and a nutritional resource. Scavenged caches of bottled ink can be found all over, typically spawning in the origin spot of potent stories of living Ettingrad. Both Folk and humans can ingest it as food and drink. It is also used as ink is typically used: in the offset printing presses still functioning throughout the realm. Folk cherish stories and writing— seemingly without recognizing that they are products of it— and a beloved vocation for them is writing new stories. 

Flora. The Wyrdlands of the outer circle are overrun with rampant plantlife. The floor is most similar to a swamp biome, but the understory and canopy is more similar to a rainforest. Broad-leaved trees with thick, waxy cuticles catch moisture from the air and send it dripping ceaselessly downward. Verdant ferns sway in the wake of pressurized miasma. Reeds poke bravely out of the morass.

These plants are home to many Folk, and likewise prove a fundamental construction resource for those of more settlement-focused proclivities. Certain Folk— such as the feared Woodsman— fell great trees— but, for the most part, the plantlife is left undisturbed. 

Ash. The most simple of creatures, moths, flutter through the tepid air both in the Frosted Heart and in the Wyrdlands. These radiant, clueless creatures are without purpose; there is no sun to guide them. As such, they bumble around, knocking gently into plants and animals alike. If only that were the extent to their existence.

Through the sleet of the Frosted Heart, through the dense canopy of the Wyrdlands, downward, endlessly, cascade these glowing white moths. Even the dimmest can see that they are magick. And blood magic is not the sole area of magick in Epilogue; in fact, hemomancy is largely reserved for humans; the Folk rely on more whimsical arcana. More enterprising Folk long ago discovered that these moths can be distilled into a solid state of pure power. Taking inspiration from the sight of them falling palely from the sky, they named this resource “ash”. It is a worthwhile resource, and can be used to power the strongest spells. The rare human— for they are rare in this realm— might recognize the value that the Folk attribute to these lepidopterans, and may strike out to capture as many as possible— not unlike an entomologist of the living Ettingrad, but different in a vital sense.

It’s wild to write this, but I have to describe the economic system of this whimsical setting as a market economy. There is no currency, but rather valuable resources that are traded depending on the demand of the individual with whom you are trying to barter. There is no government interference— because there is no central government. There are Folk royalty, but they do not have domains large enough to warrant having a currency. Traveling merchants— Folk and human— pick up valuable resources (as detailed above), and trade them however fairly they desire. I would not say that it is growth-focused, though, nor that private entities amass power. The purpose of economic transactions is not to acquire wealth or surplus (except for the rare Folk who covet wealth, or larger bands of human survivors hoping to have a stash to fall back on); it is merely to sate the direct, current desires and needs of the individuals interacting with each other.

The resource that I am choosing to write more on is Folkparts. In the game that I will lead next year based in this setting, folkparts will be an equivalent to currency (just not with a fixed exchange rate). As the player defeats Folk, they can loot the bodies and scavenge biological parts of them. These parts will always be tradeable, and will always be in need. Everyone— Folk and humans— can use folkparts; they are potent base materials usable for endless purposes. It’s also interesting, because as an economic system in the game, there will be unique folkparts scavengable from slain Folk— contrary to typical “I killed a kobold and found its purse of 6 gp and 3 cp!” Folk don’t cherish money, so why would they have currency on them? Also, this system will allow for interesting bartering scenarios, where buyers can have unique needs that may require specific folkparts.

It’s imported everywhere (if that’s appropriate for a bound region)— but primarily in the Wyrdlands; it is exported almost exclusively from the Wyrdlands; there are few Folk in the Frosted Heart. Humans don’t have such a whimsical nature that would allow for, say, alchemical brews requiring King Midas’ fingernails. These humans, after all, are dead citizens from a biohazardous war. 

The state of the industry is pretty stable. There aren’t rampant poachers hunting Folk for their parts, but there are some bounty hunters who do do that. 

Typically, traveling or sedentary merchants are the purchasers of folkparts. In the player’s travels, they will encounter fascinating traveling merchants who will be only so eager as to trade either finished products or other folkparts for any that the player has amassed. There are also marketplaces where folkparts are— shamelessly— traded en mass. The Fai Fair (detailed in the map assignment) is one such example.

F. 9/13/2024

I worked on one blueprint tutorial that Shivansh sent me for about an hour. It’s a three hour tutorial— I’m going to finish it tomorrow.

I also started work on a side project: Crossed Stars, a top-down arcady space shooter inspired by Bosconian. It’s about a crew of unscrupulous individuals who will do anything for cash. I did some concept work for the eponymous ship that they fly. I’ll post that in here tomorrow. I’m making it in UE5, so that I can learn more about the engine— in order to work on Pareidolia: Unbound.

Bosconian (1981)

Sa. 9/14/2024

Today I worked on both Pareidolia and my side project, Crossed Stars. I started with CS, making a flip book of the thruster flickering on the eponymous ship. 

This is the eponymous ship, with thrusters on and off. It is the only playable ship with an animation— which I made via sprite sheets and flipbooks.

I used this tutorial on top down shooters. I ran into an issue that I brought up in the Game Studio discord: when I turn the space ship, the camera also turns— but the controls stay relative to the absolute environment. So controls get mixed up— which is one problem— and being all dynamic doesn’t look retro. Bosconian doesn’t turn the camera when the ship turns. I want it to be like that. I used this tutorial to try and fix it— to no avail.

I decided to work on importing the free 500+ Animation Sample pack from Unreal into Pareidolia. I quickly realized that I had forgotten how Shivansh did that. But I found this quick tutorial that refreshed me. The issue with migrating those animations into Pareidolia was, we had made a significant amount of code that wouldn’t apply— like keybindings to movements that are now significantly more complex. 

I decided to scrap the movement code from before, and just copy the perspective toggling sections over. Fortunately, it works! I had to readjust the camera for both 3rd and 1st person perspectives; the dynamic lowered head that the new orange avatar has while running forward kept butting into the 1st person perspective. Oh and I had to rename the Sample pack’s camera to what the previous code denoted as the 3rd person one. But that was easy. And I’m learning! There’s still so much that I don’t understand, but I’m beginning to understand the logic behind blueprints— and my very meager knowledge of C++ helps. 

Another thing about migrating the Sample pack in: I wasn’t able to convert the fixed 3rd person perspective; you can move the perspective around. That actually turned out to be a good thing; now, toggling back and forth from 3rd-to-1st person doesn’t have weird different angle jolts.

Sa. 9/14- Su. 9/15/2024

I worked more on Pareidolia— specifically the animations. I don’t have a clear plan on the order of things that must be done, but I was excited to get some crouching and ledge grabs in place, so I started following this tutorial series (24 minutes in). Following these tutorials takes so much time. I just have one screen, so whenever the instructor does anything, I have to pause the video and go back to Unreal, to replicate it. I’m making progress, though! The animation blueprint makes sense. It’s 12:41am. I’m going to get ready for bed. 

I just went into the playtest window and it’s jank. The joints of the arms are floating apart, and he doesn’t move, just glides. I’ll fix it tomorrow.

Su. 9/15/2024

I meant to go to bed hours ago, but Nathaniel in the discord suggested Global/World Rotation, instead of Relative Rotation— oh for Crossed Stars. So I did that— and I swear I tried it earlier tonight, and it didn’t work, but this time it worked! Hurrah!

And then I made a sprite sheet and flipbook of the stars in the background, and I imported that over the ground of the level— so now there are flickering stars, just like in Bosconian. I’ve been using this tutorial to make sprites and flipbooks.

And I just used this tutorial to add a minimap to Crossed Stars.

Later in the day.

I designed the asteroids for Crossed Stars, and added the Destroy Actor code for the artillery to eliminate the BrigBrig (Brigand Brigade faction) ship. The AI on the BrigBrig isn’t working, but the elimination does. I need to go into the BrigBrig code and reciprocate it— so that if it runs into the eponymous ship, it destroys both of them. And then, of course, retro explosion animations. Below are the sprite sheets for Bosconian.

These are the three asteroid variants. You will be able to mine them for ore. I need to go in and upgrade the quality.

Bosconian sprites.

Here are some references for the static portraits of characters that will pop up in the bottom right corner as they speak.

For Pareidolia, I did not end up finishing that blueprint tutorial. I started modeling the stone snake whip— the one that frees the MC at the beginning. I started in ZBrush, but had issues with subtools, so I moved to Blender. I couldn’t get mirroring to work right, and it needs to be symmetrical. 

I think the next step of the process for this project will be making and rigging that whip, animating the four attack animations, finishing the Viewfinder emulation, and socketing it to a refraction trail. I’m glad that I wrote that out. I honestly haven’t been working on Pareidolia a lot recently, just because I wasn’t sure what steps to take.

Research! I played For Honor for a little over an hour today. I knew a little about it going in, and I’m playing it to get a feel for and an understanding of the tri-directional attacking/blocking system. It’s surprisingly intuitive. For Pareidolia, I am intending on having a similar system for at least the melee attacks (and maybe the ranged knucklebones attack)— so it was good to get a feel for it in a comp.

This is For Honor. You can’t see it super well, but on each character (MC and focused enemy), there’s a tri-directional toggle— a stance for directional attacking and blocking. Having a visual for that is a good idea, as well.

M. 9/16/2024

Today I worked on Pareidolia (what this seminar’s project is). I found some attack animations on Mixamo, exported the skeleton that I was using (from the Unreal 500+ Animation Sample pack) from Unreal into Mixamo, and with some fiddling, I was able to import the resulting attack animations back into Unreal. I used this tutorial to attempt to keep the legs moving while running (from the 500+ pack) even while attacking. I couldn’t get it to work. I’m inserting screenshots of my work below.

I sent out a plea in Discord to get some help, because even though I was following the tutorial, I couldn’t get the legs to keep running. I ended up going to MACD; Shivansh tried to fix it. He was able to get it to work with a singular running animation, but not with the 500+ Animation pack. Turns out, though, that one big error I had made was referencing the first animation blueprint (before importing the 500+ pack) in the animation blueprint for the attack. So that’s one reason it wasn’t working. 

Shivansh gave me some advice. I’ve been going at this from a project mindset. I’m working on two projects of my own creation (not counting the Studio project), and whenever I need to learn something specific related to the next steps in those projects, I look up tutorials— and fall down a rabbit hole of copying their methods while not understanding what I’m doing.

Shivansh said to start with watching a couple of those really long UE5 tutorials that go into theory and general information. That will provide me with the foundation to troubleshoot errors that come up.

I guess I was just being impatient. I want to jump into socketing the Viewfinder-esque weapon refraction trail onto a snake whip— before actually learning a bit about the foundation of the program. So I’ll do that.

Tomorrow is Tuesday. Tomorrow, I need to write my weekly blog post and make the PowerPoint presentation for Sprint 1 of the Seminar. I also need to contribute my portion to the Sprint slides for Sprint 1 of Adam’s studio project.

That feels like a lot, and I’m not sure if I’ll be able to work on anything else. Going forward, I’m going to work on those things multiple days prior— and just update the Tuesday before. Because I need to keep my momentum going, and cramming those three things onto a Tuesday will, I feel, kill it.

Blog Post #1: Ahead

This past week, I have gotten quite ahead. Let me explain.

Here are my milestones— set two weeks apart, starting next Wednesday.

Milestone 1 Goals.

• Start Unreal Engine familiarization through tutorials.

• Review GDDs.

• Deconstruct comps (from a player perspective).

Milestone 2 Goals.

• Continue learning Unreal Engine.

• Start filling in GDD for the end project.

Milestone 3 Goals.

• Start working on the greybox prototype.

• Continue completing GDD.

Milestone 4 Goals.

• Continue work on the greybox prototype.

• Start work on developing the alla prima mechanic.

Milestone 5 Goals.

• Finish GDD (including base script for vertical slice).

• Finish basic development of the alla prima mechanic.

• Finish the greybox prototype.

More explanation is necessary.

What is the project?

From my project proposal:

“Working title: [Pareidolia: Unbound]. 

“This project will be the researching and development of a unique mechanic in a functioning prototype. This project will cover all of the school year, and will set the stage for my Praxis project next year. Essentially, the movements of a 3rd-person character— specifically the movements of their attacks— will create a trailing streak, which will smear the two-dimensional image of the three-dimensional scene. This smear will act as a smear of wet oil paint composing the scene; the smear of colors, shadows, and details will reconstruct that with which it comes in contact— altering the three-dimensional layout of the environment. The working name for this mechanic is “alla prima”— the artistic term in Italian for wet-on-wet painting.”

“The end goal of the project— which will continue next year in Studio— will be an action RPG vertical slice. Aside from using alla prima to alter the environment (to bypass obstacles, solve puzzles, etc.), it must also be used to destroy certain enemies (typically stronger types, like bosses)— a finishing move. If alla prima is not used, even if a boss’s health is reduced to nothing, it will not be defeated. Both uses of alla prima require a consumable resource (working name: Inspiration Points). 

“It is currently called Pareidolia: Unbound, because of the meaning we attribute to meaningless stimuli— which really presents a fair analogy to the alla prima mechanic. In addition to this special mechanic, enemies will spawn only if the MC’s perspective in the three-dimensional environments aligns specific visual details that come together to compose an organic, character-presenting shape.”

Let’s delve deeper into what I’ve done this past week.

9/5-7/2024

I bought the Learn C++ for Game Development Udemy course, and put in 3.5 hours into it these three days. The entire course is 12.5 hours. I also bought the Learn Unreal Engine 5 C++ Programming by Creating an Action-RPG Style Open World Game! course from the same instructor. That one is 53 hours, and the instructor recommended completing the prior course first, so that is what I am doing.

I also did some research into comps. The only one that I found to be immediately relevant was Viewfinder. Viewfinder has a unique mechanic in which photographs can be placed in front of the 1st person perspective, and the structures and objects of the photographs become real and interactive. I found a tutorial on emulating that in UE5 (Viewfinder was made in Unity). More on that tutorial later.

Viewfinder (2023)

9/8/2024

I wanted to start implementing my findings as promptly as possible, so I started a tutorial on creating a 3rd person game. I slightly modified the process: changing where the camera is to have a more intimate feel; having perspective constantly from behind and to the right of the MC.

Ignore the T-pose. This is the perspective that I decided upon for the 3rd person angle. 

I fell down a rabbit hole of getting better animations for the movements, jumps, etc. I got the 500+ Sample Animations from the Epic Games Marketplace. I was not able to figure this out, but I used this video and this video to try and learn how to import the animations.

I got the “Brute” model from Mixamo. Obviously, I’ll create a unique mesh for Alice, but the bald-with-tattoos worked better for now, and I want something better than the standard robot mesh.

I set up the keybinds for basic movement.

9/9/2024

(2 hours)

Today I scrapped the Brute mesh because I got frustrated about not knowing how to import animations to it— back to the basic mesh. Then, I followed this tutorial to add a 1st person toggle. Well, really it’s a 1st person switch; I need to figure out how to have it go back to 3rd person when I release the trigger.

Updated 3rd person perspective.

Then I got 10 minutes into this tutorial on emulating Viewfinder in UE5. The plan is to follow the two parts of this tutorial and really get a handle on the Viewfinder mechanic, then add a combat animation with a refraction weapon trail; assign the “photo” to the trail.

Still today, but after walk: I realized that I don’t need the “flip flop” between perspectives if I want it to only go to 1st person while the button is pressed. So I deleted all of those nodes. It works, but two things can be improved upon:

1) If I try to go to 1st person, release, back to 3rd person, press to go to 1st person again— it doesn’t work; I have to press the trigger an extra time to activate 1st person perspective again/or have pressed some other button since. How to fix this? I currently do not know.

2) Going into 1st person perspective, release, back to 3rd person, press (twice) to go to 1st person again— the 1st person perspective is the same as where I left it; the angle of view is the same; if I previously was looking at the ground in 1st person, it returns to that same view when I go back into 1st person. I want the 1st person perspective to return to default whenever I go into it. How to fix this? I’m not sure.

This is what the blueprint looks like after removing the Flip-Flop, and swapping to a toggle.

9/10/2024

(1.5 hours)

I met with Shivansh, a second year graduate student. He helped me import the Animation Sample Pack from the Unreal Marketplace, and bind the running and jumping animations to my mesh. He also helped fix the issue where it took two taps of the trigger to re-enter 1st person. I’m not sure what he did— I’m pasting a screenshot of the blueprint code here— but it worked. He also tried to fix the issue where the 1st person perspective returns to what it had been before going into 3rd person. He couldn’t help with that at the moment, but he tried some solutions— none worked— and decided to look into it in his free time. I will do the same. 

Shivansh's code.

I also research GDDs, and started making my own. Here it is.

And for my worldbuilding class, I am tasked with creating a worldbuilding project. I have chosen to use this opportunity to develop the setting of my game.

I detailed the notable sites in order of how I think the game plot will go— at least at this time. The class is inherently skewed towards hard worldbuilding; I am determined to add some softness to my project.

Next steps:

• Continue implementing the Viewfinder mechanic tutorial in the 1st person mode.

• Add more animations, such as diagonal running, running backwards, and ledge grabs (I will need to greybox a ledge in).

• Add a basic weapon attack animation, and link a refraction trail to the weapon.

• Figure out how to use the refraction trail as the “photo” of the Viewfinder mechanic.

To remind you, these were the Milestones for #1:

• Start Unreal Engine familiarization through tutorials.

• Review GDDs.

• Deconstruct comps (from a player perspective).

So yes, I would say that I have gotten quite ahead.

Introductions

My name is Mason K. Brown. This is the logbook of my journey as a game designer for my Seminar (2024-25).