Loving. Judgment.

People say that true love is non-judgmental. I disagree. Love is not blindness. And I know that I have not loved much or many, but I have loved what can be loved: autotelicity. 

The act is the ends.

When you love someone or something without judgment, that is not love. That is mindlessness. That is the fear of the mob, staggering drunkenly in the darkness, reaching out— latching onto whatever moves. We cannot love what we cannot understand— not truly.

To love is to understand. 

To love is to judge.

Because judgment is not authoritarian. It does not have to be. But people— people so afraid of true thought— individual thought— people cannot fathom what they cannot fathom. And so, they don’t. 

Judgment is, in essence, hypocritical. We extoll “good judgment,” and we vilify “judgment.” It is cruel when the judge sentences a criminal to death. It is wise to not drink and drive. 

That is not the fault of judgment, itself. Judgment is not, in essence, hypocritical. We are.

We fear the free thinker. To be selfish is to— we think— not embrace the world and its peoples. To be selfless is to welcome all into our arms. 

But is that selflessness? To distance ourselves from the individual truths? 

It is languorous to love “the world.” That does not require effort, or bravery. It does not warrant the individual person. And we are individuals. Yes, we share some core values— dependent on the cultures of our raising. But to love is to understand. 

To be truly selfish is to put effort into understanding. And in that understanding, we grow closer to the subject. And that facilitates loving. 

To be selfish is to value the Self. 

It is the only way to be truly selfless. To value individualism.

How can we love a nameless entity?

I took an acting class in undergraduate study. The professor proclaimed “Do not judge your roles!” 

I took issue with that proclamation. I understood that Bill Starbuck was flawed. I read into his character. But in doing so, I empathized with him. And I played the role better. 

Judgment is not vice. Judgment is empathy. And empathy is the prerequisite for love.

Loving. Judgment.